The Pursuit of Happiness
by Sabere Commander
Summary: A man at death's door step signs the contract of a life time to save his life, as a result he has to join a military program that sends him to Blood Gulch. When he arrives, he discovers there is more to these Sim Troopers than meets the eye. To quote one of the soldiers: "Who the hell is running this army?" Starts in Season 1 and continues through multiple seasons.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:  
** Hello readers! This is _Sabere Commander_ here welcoming all of you to this fabulous story! I recently watched the season finale of Red vs Blue season 13 and I was heart broken. I didn't watch the trailers because I was binge watching seasons 11 and 12 before that so I was completely blind sided by the ending. The result was me loving and simultaneously loathing Rooster Teeth for what they did. Anyways, I made this story as a dedication to Red vs Blue and in memory of Epsilon Church. The new season drops sometime next year in 2017 so I have like two months to prepare for it. The chapters will be short and updates quick, compared to my normal update patterns, so remember to follow, favorite, or leave a review!

* * *

 **The Pursuit of Happiness  
**

 **Chapter 1**

" _Blood Gulch_ "

The sound of engines roaring tore through the skies. The engines belonged to a standard issue pelican drop ship. The drop ship was heading to the barren location called Blood Gulch. The reason the drop ship was coming to the place was to drop off one soldier for one of the factions in the canyon. He was to be assigned to blue team and was the first part of the delivery, the second would be one week later. He strapped into the drop ship seats and he was clad in electric blue armor. The soldier was Private Adam Linux and he was passed out.

The pelican slowed its speed down once it was close to Blood Gulch. The drop ship entered the portion of the canyon that was controlled by the blue team. The pelican slowly descended until it landed just in front of the base. The roar of the engines was loud enough to wake the occupants of the base. The lone soldier inside of the pelican was sleeping soundly until the room was filled with the shouting voice of the pilot.

" _Hey! Wake up you moron! This is your stop, get off so I can get to my other deliveries._ " The soldier jerked from the loud voice before he unlatched the safety harness on the seat. He stood up and looked around the seating area, which was dimly lit. He stretched his arms and legs before he turned back to his seat. Nestled tightly in the safety harness was his assault rifle. He picked it up and noted the pelican doors had started to open. He turned back to the cockpit and saw the pilot looking back to him, so he decided to give a brief wave.

The soldier walked out of the drop ship with his assault rifle. When he was ten feet from the rear of the pelican the door started to close. The base in front of him was gray in color, which was very noticeable in the orange colored canyon. He decided to walk inside and check for anyone inside the base. If his briefing was accurate, then there should have been three soldiers living in the base.

He searched through the halls and even in the main room. When he stopped searching the building, there was only one place left to check and that was the roof. He went outside before scaling the ramp and, much to his disappointment, he found not a single person. He was confused about his situation and unsure what to do. He was a new soldier heading to a base with supposedly three soldiers stationed there already. Not only were the soldiers missing but it looked like no one had been living there at all. The entire base was immaculate with no signs of human interaction.

The only thing, he assumed, could mean someone was there recently was how no dust had settled inside the building. He examined his surroundings for something, anything, that could give an indication that the soldiers were there or nearby. The pieces of cover that existed on the roof had strange symbols on them that glowed blue. He stared at the symbols and hummed a tune to himself. If the symbols were lit up then that meant the power had to be on in the base. From what he remembered, there were no control panels anywhere in the base for power which meant the power was coming from somewhere else.

"But where could it be coming from?" The soldier looked up and scanned the horizon for someone or something. All he could see were cliff walls, rocks and dirt.

"Excuse me, who the hell are you?" The voice was spoken by someone behind him. He turned slowly until he faced them before he took note of their color. Their armor was the color of aqua and was incredibly reflective. The held the standard issue magnum pistol with both their hands.

"I'm Private Linux and I was assigned to this outpost." His voice was deep but the speakers on his helmet were terrible. The terrible audio quality made him sound like he was _trying_ to make his voice deep. The aqua colored soldier just stared at him.

" _Okay_ , I'm Tucker... I thought command said the delivery wasn't due to arrive until next week."

"Well me being added was a sudden for me too." Linux replied with mild interest to Tucker.

"So what did they send you here for?" Tucker asked Linux the seemingly simple question. What stood out to him was the way the aqua soldier had asked it. They made it seem like being posted in Blood Gulch was some sort of punishment. An uncomfortable silence hung in the air between the two soldiers and it reminded Linux to answer.

"I was told to support the blue team in this canyon."

"Yeah, I can see that but what was your mission?"

"Just to eliminate red forces or help blue team to capture them." The sound of metal foot steps clanking on the metal of the ramp reached their ears. The two soldiers turned and saw one of the missing soldiers. The new soldier wore the same armor that Linux and Tucker wore but his was the color powder blue. He was carrying a sniper rifle in his arms and he stopped at the edge of the ramp when he saw Linux.

"Who the fuck are you?" The question was spoken so quickly that Linux had to repeat the words in his head to ensure he was hearing the right thing.

"His name's Linux and he's apparently the first part of our delivery. The next part is coming at the scheduled date."

"Oh, so you're the new guy?" The powder blue soldier approached him then took in his appearance. "Tell you what, we have a tradition here at blue base for rookies. Normally we would haze you and put you through a whole bunch of crap but I like the way you present yourself. So if you give me twenty dollars you won't have to go through all of that."

"So you're the highest ranking soldier in the base?" Linux asked, the question having spawned from his own curiosity.

"Yeah, do you wanna skip the hazing or not?" The soldier spoke quickly and tried to wave that particular part of the conversation away.

"Yes... but I didn't bring any money with me." Linux added just as quickly as the powder blue soldier...

* * *

Linux found himself looking around the room he was in. If he could describe it with one word then he would say it was plain. The room was a metal gray with one light built into the ceiling. There was a thin mattress placed upon a bed frame that was built out of the ground, which was just solid concrete and was terrible for sleep. There was a metal desk in one corner and a foot locker at the base of his bed.

The bed had one pillow and single blanket that was just barely large enough to cover him. The foot locker had contained a change of clothes that consisted of two white shirts and two pairs of navy blue sweat pants. The desk was literally just a metal desk that sat in the corner of the room and took up space. The room was small and was barely spacious enough for him to set his armor down when he went to sleep. Fortunately, the empty desk had served as a shelf to many of his armor pieces. The armor was now decorating his body in a brilliant display of blue.

"Speaking of blue armor, where's the team?" Linux walked to the door across from his bed and placed a palm to the wall. After a second of waiting a panel lit up beneath his hand. The panel was one of the many placed around blue base. They acted as the door switches in the base. Linux didn't approve of a base using those kinds of door switches. How would anyone knew to the base even no of their existence, like him?

He returned from his thoughts upon the moment he realized he'd been standing there with the door open. He left the room and wandered down the halls until he was at the front of the base. From what he could see and hear, the two blues were no longer there. He had discovered that the powder blue one was named Church and he appeared to be the leader of the two. He also found out that, aside from the him, those two were the only blue soldiers in the canyon. That was something he'd have to ask about later, he was told there would be three soldiers in the canyon.

He decided to look around from atop the base, assuming its elevated position would offer a better vantage point. While making his way to the top, he ran through his memories of yesterday to see if they'd mentioned anything about leaving to somewhere. After he arrived and everyone introduced their selves, the two blues decided to play twenty questions with him. They asked him everything they could think of, from his rank to his military career, but in the end they didn't learn much. He hadn't done anything noteworthy and this was his first official assignment after training camp. He never got the chance to ask any meaningful questions to the two blues.

He stopped moving once he reached the edge of the roof. He, just as he did yesterday, started to examine the landscape for any signs of his teammates. He tapped the side of his helmet to use the zoom and began scanning more throughly. Dust, rocks, dead grass, more rocks, canyon walls and two blue specks. He narrowed his eyes behind his visor as he stared at the wiggling blue specks up by the canyon wall. He didn't remember seeing two blue specks last time.

His visor couldn't zoom any further than what he was pushing it to do so he only had two choices. He could choose to leave the base completely undefended and make the long trek over to where he saw the two specks. The other choice was waiting at the base for them to come back, something he had no idea of when to expect. The decision wasn't as difficult as one would think, there was _nothing to do_ at blue base. He checked his assault rifle that rested in his hands before jumping off the edge of the roof.

The trek to the blue specks consumed at least two minutes, that was with him running. Fortunately, his curiosity rewarded him with the voices of Church and Tucker, his teammates. They were bickering about something that he couldn't distinguish. His pace had changed from running to a slow walk. He was winded from running but he wouldn't say he was tired. He approached them from behind and discovered they were standing on a outcrop in the canyon wall that granted perfect view of another base in the distance.

"They're just talking, that's all they are doing. That's what they were doing five minutes ago, it's what they're doing now, so in five minutes from now they'll still be standing there and talking." Linux waited for the blues to notice him.

"What are they talking about?" Tucker, the aqua soldier, asked Church. The powder blue leader turned to him with something that could be described as frustration.

"You know what? I fucking hate you."

"Wow, harsh." The two blue soldiers turned to Linux when he commented.

"Oh hey, when did you get here?" Church asked him.

"Just a few seconds ago. What's going on?" He replied.

"We're spying on the reds." Church turned away from him and looked through the sniper scope.

"You see anything?"

"Yeah but it's just two guys standing there and talking."

"Oh... So what are they talking about?"


	2. I-II

**Author's Note:**  
I told you the updates would be written and posted quickly. For those of you who didn't realize, this story will contain non cannon parts because it is a fan fiction.

* * *

 **The Pursuit of Happiness**

 **Chapter 2**

" _Planing ideas and Testing them!_ "

The sun was high in the sky over Blood Gulch. This meant that the canyon was the hottest it was going to be all day. This also meant that any sane person was inside trying to keep out of the heat. The unfortunate problem that plagued Blood Gulch residents was the fact that their sanity could always be questioned. The members of blue team were outside, much to the chagrin, and where being bitched out by their self appointed leader. Apparently, one of blue had taken his sniper rifle and messed with the sights on it.

"I'm telling you that someone was touching my sniper rifle and now the damn thing can't zoom in or out." Church screamed at them, the microphones on his helmet making his voice even more shrill. He turned to one of the two soldiers before him, Linux, and glared at him from behind his visor. "What's strange is that this never happened until _you_ showed up rookie." Church, although not stating it directly, was accusing Linux of touching and breaking his sniper rifle.

"For the last time, it wasn't me... and we're the same rank!" Linux shouted to Church, who wasn't fazed by the yelling. Linux had discovered very quickly that, despite being okay to talk to, _Private_ Church was an asshole.

"Then who did it?! Because I know I didn't break my own sights!" Church pointed the barrel of the sniper at Linux's visor when he finished screaming.

"I don't fucking know! How do you know one of the red soldiers didn't fuck with it?" Linux didn't move, unsure whether he'd be able to clear the barrel by the time Church fired.

"I!... I... I don't..." Church slowly lowered the sniper rifle from Linux's visor then paused. "Huh, I guess I should have thought-" Church was punched in the face by a powerful arm. The force was enough to knock him onto his back and it did. The sniper rifle that was once clutched in his hands clattered to the floor and slid away from him. The person who punched him was Linux and they were rubbing their knuckles.

"Ow~" Church cried from his spot on the ground.

"Holy shit dude, that was a hell of a swing!" Tucker said from beside Linux. All the electric blue soldier did was not in agreement. Tucker walked over to Church then checked on him. Fortunately, it seemed as though Church was just knocked silly from the bunch and not actually harmed. "Well that's what you get for being an ass." Tucker turned and walked off the roof and back into the base.

Linux stared at Church for a moment, the soldier was mumbling something to himself, before leaving him on the ground and walking away. Linux stopped once in front of a peculiar part of the roof. The part was a large doorway that was glowing with green light and strange wisp like patterns of white. According to Church and Tucker, it was a teleporter that was at the base when they arrived. Apparently they had never thought of testing it prior, so Linux was going to help with that. That was until Church decided to start a shouting match over his sniper rifle.

Linux had gathered a decent pile of stones on the roof. The plan was to through the rocks through the teleporter. If they came out the other side then the teleporter worked. Tucker was heading to the output pad for the teleporter. If everything resulted in the teleporter being okay and/or safe to use then the trip from the base to the canyon outcrop would be much quicker.

Whistling to himself, Linux decided to pick up a rock and test the weight of it in his hands. The rocks were surprisingly light but that could have been the result of the suit it self. The rocks also looked like the were mostly made of soft compact dirt, easy to crumble, than actually tough and hardened stone. He waited four extra minutes before giving the rock on last weight test. After the test, he wound up his arm and threw the rock in with as much force as he could muster.

The rock sailed through the air before it made contact with the teleporter. The rock seemed to fly straight into the green mess of light with no resistance. The disappearing act was accompanied by a weird _whoosh_ sound, followed quickly by a _whiz_ and a low hum. He waited for a few seconds before contacting Tucker of the radio. He wanted to be sure the rocks were there before distracting him.

"Yo Tucker. You see any of the rocks over there?" He pulled his hand away from the comm button on his helmet and waited for a response. Static filled the line in the absence of voice until Tucker spoke.

" _Yeah, it's Tucker. No, I'm not seeing any rocks over here. You don't think they got destroyed do you?_ " Linux paused for a moment before he quickly picked up another rock and chucked it through the portal.

"Maybe, I sent another one through. Tell me if you get this one."

" _Hey, I'm getting some weird sounds from the teleport **-er!** " _Tucker's voice strained over the radio before being followed by a soft thud.

"What? What is it? Tucker?" Linux quickly jogged over to the edge of the roof and looked over to where Tucker should have been. He wasn't able to see them due to the hills in the canyon. "Tucker, do you read me?"

" _Yeah, I- **cough/wheeze-** I hear you Linux... That rock you sent through really did a number on me..._"

"Oh, sorry about that. So the teleporter works then?"

" _Yeah, pretty much. **-wheeze-** Only concern is that it came out looking like it was charred and shi-Agh!_" Tucker's radio cut to static after the aqua blue soldier shouted.

"Tucker?! Tucker are you okay?!"

" _Yes man! I'm fine, fuck! You're acting like my mom! **-cough cough-** Why the hell did you throw another rock?_" Linux frowned from behind his visor, he didn't throw another rock. He only threw the first and the second was the one that made it through, unless the teleporter was delayed.

"Huh, I think the teleporter might have some kind of delay function when things pass through. I threw the first rock before I radioed you and it only recently came through."

" _Well maybe next time you don't hurl it like a fucking fast ball. I got the wind knocked out of me._ "

"Right, sorry about that. I didn't realize I threw it that hard." Linux took his hand off the radio button and stared out to where Tucker would be. He could see the aqua soldier coming over a hill in the distance. A groan reached his ears, indicating that Church was coming back into focus from the punch. There would probably be another argument about Linux taking command and testing the teleporter but at least they know the teleporters work...

* * *

Three soldiers stood at the top of the blue base in Blood Gulch. One was Private Linux, who wore electric blue armor, another was Private Church, who wore powder blue armor, and the last was Private Tucker and he wore aqua armor. The trio of blue soldiers were discussing multiple things but one stood above the rest. The subject that was significantly more important was the subject of the reds. Specifically how they had a window to do damage to the red team in the canyon. Two sides existed in the argument, one didn't want to capitalize on it and were content just spying on them and the other wanted to capitalize on their weakness. The commander of red team was currently away and hadn't been seen for some time at the base.

"We are not going to get another opportunity for this." Linux argued.

"How do you know that? You don't know shit! You just stand there and act like you know what to do all the damn time." Church, once again, was arguing against Linux. The two had a history of disagreeing with each other and, occasionally, butting heads.

"Well it's better than sitting here and doing nothing all day!" Linux retorted with just as much fire.

"Speak for your self, I've been spying on them this whole time!" From the way Church's voice echoed from his speakers, one might come to the conclusion that he was being smug.

"You've been standing there and staring through the scope all day! There is nothing to spy on! All they do is talk!" Linux screamed at Church.

"Why do you even care what I think?! We're all the same rank here! Go do whatever the hell you want, I'm not you're baby sitter!" Church screamed back.

"Because I can't pull the plan off alone! I wouldn't be asking for your help if I thought I could do it on my own!" The two continued their arguing, both using viscous tactics and name calling. It seemed as though they would never stop arguing until their team member interrupted. It was Tucker, the aqua armored Private, that suggested a better idea.

"Why don't we just wait for the shipment? I mean, we're getting a tank today. If we try to go over there and steal their vehicle then we'll probably get wasted." The two soldiers stared at Tucker for a moment and silently weighed the options in their head. They could continue to spy on red team, in Linux's case it would be getting help in attacking the reds, or they could go and wait for the tank and a new recruit. They glanced at the other before grumbling to themselves and nodding in agreement.

The group walked back to their base and decided to do different things while waiting. Church went to the roof and set behind cover while watching for movement. Unsurprisingly, Tucker joined him there and the two made small talk. Linux found himself in the living room reorganizing his plan to include a tank and/or a new soldier. He was using the white board that was hidden in the main room behind a wall that, once again, had to be activated by a wall panel. He thought about all of the things in the base and how well they were hidden before deciding to thank Tucker later for explaining Blue base and where everything was.

His plan, as he had planned it to that point, consisted of him infiltrating the base with another blue member, while the other(s) would provide a diversion outside. The blue would snag the flag and Linux would cover him as they made an escape. The plan had him and Tucker sprinting into the small cave system so that the jeep couldn't follow. The problem comes from trying to outrun a vehicle capable of its speed, something he'd seen first hand. Thankfully, if he reformed the plan to include the tank and the new recruit, it could possibly work even easier than that.

If he were to get close to the base with Tucker in toe, he could have Church provide reconnaissance with his sniper rifle. Working together, he and Tucker could approach the base when guards weren't looking or were away from their posts. Once there, they could wait and, assuming they could use the tank, then have the new recruit use the tank to cause a disturbance on the outside of the base. The tank firing at the base would draw the attention of any soldiers inside the base. This would allow him and Tucker to sneak in, steal the flag, and get out without being noticed. Linux would cover Tucker while he took the flag, thus allowing them easier escape should an enemy notice them during the plan.

Linux let loose a sigh before stepping back from the white board. It was filled with unorganized writing and doodles for the plan to steal the flag. The plan, forming it, had given him a headache and the unnecessary frustration from Church was certainly not helping. To Linux, it felt like every single thing had to be a fight or a battle of some sorts. He gripped the helmet covering his face and used it to rub his head. He quickly closed the white board before heading to the back of the base. He planned on telling the other two how the revised plan would work but didn't hold high hopes considering the lack of willingness to cooperate.

Once outside, Linux noticed something that he hadn't before. The dull but loud roaring of engines was everywhere. Linux paused before he looked above blue base and spotted a pelican drop ship. The vehicle had its bay doors open with one lone solid blue soldier dropping out of it. After the soldier landed, the ship decided to fly off and leave them. Linux wasted no time and rushed up to the roof to greet the new soldier and addition to their team. When he approached them, he learned they were already introducing themselves.

"My name is Michael J. Caboose, I'm a Private." The blue soldier bobbed his head while talking, which was odd to say the least. The only thing he had in his hand was the standard issue pistol that everyone had, well not Linux but everyone else had it.

"Yeah, I'm Church and this is Tucker." Church paused and glanced to Linux before continuing. "That asshole over there is Linux, welcome to Blood Gulch. A box canyon in the middle of no where with two bases. This is blue base..."


	3. I-III-I

**Author's Note:  
** This chapter is going to be shorter than previous ones. Long story short, I won't be able to write or do anything on site for a while. I'm rushing the chapter as I type this now. I don't know how soon I can return to writing this, so I'll leave you to get reading and me typing...

 _ **The Pursuit of Happiness**_

 **Chapter 3  
**

" _Operation: Rolling Thunder_ "

The three soldiers of blue base currently stood around the tank outside of their base. The fourth soldier, ironically the newest addition, was inside guarding the flag. Linux was examining the tank with a keen interest in it. The vehicle looked like one could fire a rocket at it and the most it would suffer would be minor scratches. The other two were making small talk about the tank. Most of their talk centered around how powerful they would be in the tank and whether or not one could pick up girls in it. Some times Linux would ponder just how intelligent they really were. The moment was interrupted when the newest soldier returned from being inside the base.

"Hey guys! I just wanted to let you know the general stopped by and took the flag." The cobalt soldier said. Church didn't even turn to the soldier before shouting at him, he really didn't like him.

"Rookie! I don't care! For the love of god shut the hell up!" The rookie soldier looked down to the ground after being yelled at. He then turned around and walked back into the base. Church let out a hiss of air, a sigh if you would, before becoming quiet. He was not the only one to do this because the others had done so too. After a moment of science, Church spoke one word to his teammates.

"Wait, what?"

"I think he said the general stopped by and took the flag." Tucker answered. Church resumed his frozen stance before turning to the base, after which he quickly turned back to Linux and Tucker. He didn't say anything and neither did them, he just waited before turning back to the base and running towards it.

"Hey wait! Rookie! Get back here!" Tucker and Linux just turned to each other, one raising an eyebrow to the other, before they chased after him. They ran inside and found Church questioning him. Neither decided to speak up because they both knew it was better to stay away from the center of attention. Church was a very loud and angry man that could be intimidating sometimes. "So you're telling me, a random guy wearing red armor walked into the base and you just handed him the flag?"

"Yes-"

"Are you a fucking idiot!?"

"What? You told me to!" Church didn't wait to argue further with the rookie blue. Instead he turned around and made his way outside of the base. Tucker and Linux followed him back outside again, chasing him onto the roof. He was waiting beside the teleporter, sniper rifle in his hands, looking across the landscape at a red soldier retreating from the base. "Oh hell no, you're not getting away..." Church whispered to himself before squeezing the trigger. He did this a few more times but each shot missed, leaving multiple vapor trails in the air.

"Wow you suck with that thing." Linux commented.

"Shut up!" Church glanced over his shoulder when he spoke. He glanced down the sights of his rifle one last time before sighing. He turned to face all three members of blue team. "Look, we can still catch him but we're going to need to use the teleporter." His proposition elicited a number of responses, three to be exact.

"Hell no!"

"..."

"The what now?"

"What? Why not?" Church directed his question to Tucker, the aqua soldier, his body followed suit. "We already know it works, we tested it."

"Yeah, on rocks! Every time we sent them through they came out smoldering and black!"

"I say let's do it." Linux interrupted.

"Wait what?!" Tucker turned towards him ands tared in surprise. "You can't be serious!"

"Actually, I am. Besides, I already have a plan for stealing the reds flag." Tucker just stared at him silence after hearing what he said. "Besides, it'll be killing two birds with one stone." Linux turned and walked past Tucker and then Church. The blues stared at him while he was approaching the green glowing teleporter. He went to take a step into it before stopping and looking to the others. "If I get cooked alive... Don't let the rookie get my armor."

"Noted." Church replied.

With a nod, Linux turned back to the portal before taking a deep breath. He stepped forward into the green portal, meeting no resistance when he did so. Strangely enough, once he was partially through the portal, everything seemed to slow down. The more of him that entered and the further he went, the slower things seemed to be moving. He was surrounded by a green like substance that varied between two shades of green. The dull green was like a background and then there was the green that looked to be populated in white foam, like one finds in soda if examined closely enough. That particular material seemed to waft around in wisps and streams, contorting around his body.

The wisps of foam like green seemed to originate form the same place. It was glowing a green so bright that he couldn't only see white form it. It was apparently approaching swiftly in a concerning manner. It was then that Linux comprehended that, for the most recent five minutes of his life, he was floating. It took only seconds to close the gap between where he was before and where he currently was. The streams of white like green wisps moved more radically and violent then when he was further away. When he was upon it, he involuntarily tensed for whatever would happen. White light started to overwhelm is vision...

 **TO BE CONTINUED...**


	4. I-IV-II

**Author Note:** _N/A_

 _ **The Pursuit of Happiness**_

 **Chapter 4**

" _Operation: Rolling Thunder Part 2_ "

Loud buzzing could be heard coming from all around Linux. He, to summarize, was experiencing sensory overload. Suddenly everything stopped and we was back in Blood Gulch. He immediately collapse to his knees and focused on not hurling. His stomach felt like he had eaten the most vile thing ever and was fighting the urge to vomit it all back up. While he was on the ground, a warp like sound effect could be heard before foot steps approached. He glanced up at the near by people, who were Church along with two soldiers he hadn't seen before, and dimly registered the shouting going on between them all.

He centered his focus back on himself, he was still on his knees on the ground. He struggle to coordinate his efforts in standing up, nearly tipping over a few times in the process. His legs felt like the were made of rubber and his upper body felt like card board being blown over by wind. Eventually the solider managed to get his bearings secured enough to stand without nearly toppling over. The whole experience had made him feel dizzy and out of body. Fortunately, by the time he managed to shake the feeling off and focus, the situation wasn't any less resolved then before. In short, his teammates got nothing done the entire time he was feeling sick.

"Tucker, you didn't travel back in time."

Wait, what?

"This isn't the Sargent, he's just some dumb rookie that managed to get passed our defenses and-for the love of god what is with that music?!" Time seemed to slow for everyone as the the jeep flew over the hill. It seemed like everyone but Linux screamed _Son of a bitch!_ when the jeep appeared. As for Linux, well he was only able to mummer one line before being hit by the combat vehicle...

"Oh shit-" Linux was pulled under the vehicle once it landed. The jeep spun around in the Blood Gulch dirt before stopping beside the red soldier. The maroon soldier standing in the back of the jeep, who had been manning the turret in the back, began firing rounds at the two blue team members while they retreated to the cover of a giant rock. The yellow soldier began speaking to the red one, calling him rookie. Something about returning to base immediately, the jeep then proceeded to keep the reds and blues pinned in cover while the red soldier made for the base.

From underneath the jeep, a blue soldier watched the red one run away. The blue soldier, Linux, had been holding onto the undercarriage for dear life the whole time. He let himself drop to the ground with a heavy thud before rolling out from under neath the jeep. Luckily for him, the jeep chose that moment to drive forward to get a better point on the blues. With the jeep a good fifty feet away and the chain gun blasting loud as can be, the reds in the jeep stood no chance of noticing him. He looked at the retreating red soldier from his spot before setting his mind. He was going to take down the rookie and sneak the flag back to base.

Getting up, he started to run after the red rookie. At first his gait was awkward and off but it eventually grew into a proper one and he picked up some speed. He started to close in on the rookie, whether it was because the rookie sucked at running or the flag was heavier than it looked was unknown. At some point the rookie looked over his shoulder and saw him because they began to run more frantically towards the base. His own response was pumping his legs to go as fast as they could.

He chased in to the base and followed him inside. He had to hand it to the little red bastard, they were quick when indoors. After a-begrudgingly-short chase he lost track of him inside and had to resort to searching around the base. Fortunately, it seemed to be an exact replica of the blue base-which was odd for a rival army. He searched through the rooms one by one finding them to vary greatly between rooms. One looked to be that of a technology buff, computers and wires strung everywhere. Another looked to be that of standard room, very clean with little to no modifications and another one... well it was the second time he nearly vomited that day.

Eventually he ran out of rooms to search, having come across one more room that was blank. This meant that there was only one room he could have been in. It was near the end of the hall and lead out of the back of the base. He charged forward into the room only to skid to a stop. He had just realized he'd been running around the enemy base without his weapon, a gun that he'd left back in the middle of the canyon. He walked into the room more cautiously, as apposed to the charge he'd originally intended. He entered the well lit room and-much to his curiosity-found it was covered in mechanic tools and parts.

He slowly glanced around the room find things like oil cans, wrenches, blow torches, and more; although, one thing did seem odd. In the corner of the room was a plug in with a charge pack attached to it. This was weird because charge packs are only used for combat robots. The pack being there either meant someone was a pack rat or there was a combat robot on the premise. He felt his shoulder get tugged hard by someone and spun around. He was met with a punch to his visor, knocking him down and putting his vision out of focus. While flat on the ground-barely conscious-he was lifted by his collar to see a soldier in brown armor; however, this up close view didn't last for too long as the next hit punched his lights out.

Looks like he found the combat robot...


	5. I-V

**Author Note:**  
Hooray! I managed to write this and get it in before my deadline to be away! I hope you all enjoy this chapter because I put extra work into this one to get it out quick enough. Please remember to review, favorite, or follow. All kinds of reviews are welcome! I would also like to point out that I will respond to questions you have-so long as they don't compromise the plot-at the end of a chapter. Thanks for view and enjoy the chapter!

* * *

 _ **The Pursuit of Happiness**_

 **Chapter 5**

" _Rescue Operation_ "

The dull clinking sound of metal boots caused Linux to stir. The clinking got louder, disturbing him even more. The clinking stopped and he relaxed, drifting back into blissful sleep. Clink, clink, clink, clink, the sound resumed and was right beside him. It persisted but so did his desire to stay asleep, the stalemate only broken by a strong kick to the ribs. The air was knocked out of him and he was jolted awake.

"Oh look, it seems you're awake after all." Someone said to him in a gruff-gritty-voice. Linux looked to the speaker and saw someone dressed in bright red armor. Instinctively, he glared at them, not that they could see him because he was wearing his helmet.

"Since you're awake and all, how's about you stand up and introduce yourself." The red figure cocked his gun for emphasis and pointed the barrel towards Linux to be sure he understood what he was implying. Naturally, Linux did what any rational person would do in the situation and stood up. The two stared into each others visors before the red chuckled. "The name..." The two sat in silence for a moment before the red soldier received a response.

"Eat... a dick..." This earned another chuckle from the red soldier.

"Well what do you know, it looks like I'll enjoy this after all." The red gave no warning before he hit Linux across the mask with the butt of his rifle. Linux fell back against the wall and caught himself. He looked back up to the red soldier with nothing but silence. "Now, how's about your name?"

"Go fuck yourself redtard-Ughn!" Linux found himself resting on his ass while he held the side of the head. The butt of his rifle had found its mark on his helmet once again.

"Heh, well your just a bundle of sun shine, I'll be honest blue-tard... this is actually enjoyable." The red soldier slammed the butt of the rifle into his helmet, which made his head smack against the wall behind him. The hit made his heads up display flicker for a moment. The red soldier stood in front of him and then crouched so that they were eye level. "I have to deal with idiots on a regular bases, so you not answering me is proving to be a _very good_ outlet." Linux stared at him from where he was seated, restricting his tongue from the soldier in front of him. "You wanna make this easier on your self and tell me your name?"

" _Linux..._ " The blue soldier hissed.

"Good, we're off to a start..." The soldier stood back up and picked Linux up by the collar of his armor. He kept the rifle trained on him the whole time until he pinned Linux to the wall. He slipped the barrel just past the helmet and pressed it to his neck. "Now, do you mind telling me what you were doing in this here base?"

" _Real funny..._ " Linux hissed at the soldier.

"And how is that?" The red soldier inquired.

"Don't act like you don't remember me chasing you into here because you stole our flag." Linux glared daggers from behind his visor.

"Ah, you mean the new guy." The red soldier readjusted his stance to get a better grip. "Well, you should know me and him aren't the same person. I'm the Sargent and _you_ are trespassing-" The building was rocked by and explosion coming from the roof. It was loud and powerful enough to distract the red Sargent. When he looked away, Linux sprung into action.

Linux smacked the rifle away from his throat and that caused the rifle to discharge a round into the wall beside his head. Linux, in quick succession, punched the Sargent across the visor then grabbed him and drove his knee into his gut before kicking him over. Linux turned around immediately and bolted out of one of the side doors, bullets nipping at his heels the whole way. He sprinted once outside until he got to the front of the base. He waited for some sound to indicate that there was anyone there but heard nothing. Linux sprinted out into the open and used the rolling hills for cover, occasionally glancing over his shoulder for one of the soldiers to shoot him in the back while he was running. Surprisingly, he never saw anyone looking for him, there weren't even gunshots.

By the time Linux had returned to blue base, he noticed something different about the three soldiers before him. There was Tucker and Caboose, then there was some random soldier in white and gray armor he'd never seen before. In fact, after he examined the third more closely he noticed he could actually see through him. His eyes shifted between the blue soldiers that seemed to be merrily chatting before him. It didn't take a genius to realize that they were clueless of him.

"*Clears throat*" The blues turned towards him, just realizing he was there. "What did I miss?"

"Holy shit, you're alive?"...

* * *

Linux's electric blue armor was now a gunmetal black that stuck out like a sore thumb against the bright brown and green of the canyon. Now, some of you may question why he was in black armor to begin with or what he was doing outside again after just getting back. The truth was, he, Tucker, and Caboose were roped into Church's plan to save a freelancer person that came to help. The three of them ran through the teleporter, which was a much better experience the second time around, and their armor was changed black. They were then to distract the reds long enough for Church to rescue the freelancer, who was apparently named Texas. Oh and apparently Church had died and came back as a ghost...

"Yeah, that's still something I don't understand." Linux turned to Tucker, who was also hiding behind the hill he was. "You guys didn't even question that Church came back as an ghost but I didn't?

"Dude, Church has been a here a long time with me. It should be obvious he would have a strong enough connection here to come back." Tucker ran across the opening, narrowly avoiding sniper rounds that kicked up dirt. When he made it across unharmed he took a knee behind cover to catch his breath. "Wow, I've never had my heart beat so fast in my life!" He turned back towards Linux, who was still hiding behind the small hill. "Okay! Let's go!"

"Are you insane?! Hell no!"

"Come on! It's the only way!" Linux stayed behind cover for a moment, weighing the options of having his brains splattered by a red sniper over someone he's never even met. Then again, if he didn't help and something went wrong then he would never here the end of it and blow his brains out just to get away from them...

"Ah what the hell~" He murmured to himself before leaping to his feet and sprinting into the open. Despite being the fastest on blue team, everything still seemed to take agonizingly long to him while running across. When the bullets started flying, it seemed as though he was moving _way too slow_ for his liking. When he got close to the giant rock protruding from the ground, he thought he might make it without anything going wrong. He was wrong, for a sniper round passed in front of him, scraping against his thigh plats and causing him to spin into a jump-landing on his back behind the rock. He landed with a heavy thud and kicked up quite the amount of dirt.

"Damn dude, are you okay?" Tucker looked at Linux on the floor.

"No, I nearly got a round put through my legs." Linux leaned forward and looked at his thigh armor. The black armor had a deep gash across his right thigh. The black gunk had been cut clean through, revealing a thick stripe of electric blue and then the dull metal gray beneath. "Shit, can I even buff that out?" More sniper rifle shots flew over head and kicked up dirt, forcing him to scramble closer to the other two. "Okay, this is absolutely ridiculous!"

The group hid behind the cover for several minutes, rarely peaking out. The few times they did peak their heads out, they were greeted by shots that clipped their helmets and caused sparks to fly. Eventually, the sitting around and trying not to get their heads blown off got boring. Caboose exclaimed that they could play tick tack toe in the dirt and the others just stared at him. Tucker brought up how they could stay behind cover for to long; otherwise, the reds will get suspicious of them and possible ruin Church's plan. It was then that the brilliant minds of Linux and Tucker combined to form a plan. One person would peak their helmet out, drawing the shooters attention, and the others would jump out from the other side and shoot at wherever the sniper was hiding.

"Three-"

"Wait do we go on three or three then go?" Tucker asked.

"What? Um... Go, we're going on go-"

"Why not 3? Isn't that faster?" Caboose butted in.

"Caboose, we're going on go so everyone has the same amount of prep time. Just make sure you stick your head out like we discussed okay?"

"Um, yeah... I guess..."

"3... 2... 1... GO!" Caboose stuck his head out and his helmet was immediately licked by sparks. The shot left a vapor trail the Tucker and Linux followed back to red base. They began shooting at the brown soldier holding the sniper rifle. The hailstorm of bullets managed to force the brown soldier into cover, allowing Linux the time to shout at Caboose. "Throw the grenade!" It was followed by Caboose doing as told and the grenade landing beside the robot.

The robot dashed for cover, heading towards the ramp that lead down into the base. Chasing it were bullets and a few sparks from nicks. When it finally disappeared from few, Linux and Tucker began cheering to themselves. They had managed to look somewhat good in the face of adversity. They only stopped cheering when they heard their teammate Caboose talking to himself. When they turned to see him, they saw him fire a sniper rifle at something to the side of the base. Even though they couldn't see who or what he was shooting at, they could figure it out easily enough when they heard an all too familiar voice shouting an all too familiar line through their radios.

"SON OF A BITCH!"...

...

...

...

"Tucker did it..."


	6. I-VI

**Author Note:** _N/A_

 _ **The Pursuit of Happiness**_

 **Chapter 6**

" _The plan and the rundown..._ "

The blue team had retreated to the center of the canyon where they took refuge between the large hills. Four soldiers and a ghost, all wearing different colored armor. From blue, to aqua, to electric blue, to plain old black and white. On one side stood the ghostly apparition of Private Church and on the other was the gun metal black of freelancer Tex. In between the three stood the other colored members, Caboose, Tucker, and Linux. The three remained quiet while the two argued against one another. Church was making his case that Tex still owed them and Tex was making _her_ case that the deal was now null.

"I don't see how not killing someone is the same as doing them a favor." Church commented on her reasons for not staying and helping.

"Well I could always take it back and kill you now."

"Uh, no you can't bitch! Jokes on you! I'm already dead." Church taunted. The argument could have and probably would have continued further if it wasn't for Private Michael J. Caboose intervening.

"Stop it! Stop it! Can't you see you're tearing us apart!?" The blue soldier turned to Church and Tex repeatedly before continuing. "We helped _too_ and what do we get? Nothing!"

"Yeah but-"

"Yeah but nothing. He's got a point." Church interrupted Tex's attempt at dismissing Caboose's point.

"Well, I did help you get the flag back..." Tex argued but it fell flat when Tucker chose to call her out.

"Yeah but you were paid to do that. We didn't have to help you, we could have let you rot in the red army prison and it wouldn't have made any difference to us."

"Fine, I'll stay here for as long as it takes to help you guys win this thing... but after that, I'm gone." Tex turned towards the three living blues and asked them a question. "What do you need?" Tucker was the only member of the group to speak up.

"I have no idea. If you know how to fix a tank I would have you do that." Tex seemed to pause before replying to Tucker.

"Wait, what happened to the tank?" Linux turned to Tucker, who in turn turned to him.

"It got destroyed by the reds in an air strike." Tucker said it like it was common knowledge.

"..." Linux turned to the freelancer. "So can you fix it?"

"Yes" She replied.

"Tucker here is gonna lead you to the tank, 'kay?"

"Okay."

"Wait, why me?" Tucker asked.

"Because I don't know where the tank was when it got the crap blown out of it." Linux looked away from the group and back towards the hells were the teleporter stopped. "Besides, I gotta go get my assault rifle." Linux began jogging away from the group and towards the teleporter.

"Wait... you can fix Sheila?" Caboose questioned, you could just feel the excitement in his voice. Fortunately, it seemed like everyone had learned how to avoid encouraging him because no one replied...

* * *

Finding his assault rifle took some time, which was odd given that it was a shiny gray color on a brown and green background. When he did find it he sighed in frustration because the weapon was damaged. It had dents across the body and the magazine slot kept getting jammed randomly. He turned around and saw his team going over the hills closer to the red base. He would have followed after them if he hadn't come to the realization that he only had the one magazine of ammunition for the gun.

He decided to head back to the base and grab two more magazines. Even if they got stuck in the gun randomly, he'd rather have a few extra rounds before going near the reds again. When he made it to the base he discovered the flag was sitting in the middle of the main room. He ignored it in favor of going to his bedroom where he kept some spare ammunition. It was just the two mags that he needed, which had gotten him some ridicule from his fellow blue soldiers. They called him paranoid and said he shouldn't worry because the reds would never set foot inside the base. He, again, questioned whether they were actually fit for some kind of performance in the field.

" _Then again they did survive and not get captured..._ " He thought to himself before pulling out the last of the two magazines. Maybe he was a bit too paranoid when he first arrived in Blood Gulch but how was he to know this was the most backwater military war zone in the galaxy? He left his room and locked the door before glancing to the main room with the flag in it. He _could_ take that way back to them but then he would be hoofing it the entire way back to them. After a few seconds of thinking, he turned around and headed up to the roof. He knew a much faster way and was going to use it, maybe the Blood Gulch blues were rubbing off on him?

He went through the teleporter and, after a few seconds of delay, arrived at the teleporter pad with a flash. He jogged up onto the crest of a hill and looked around the landscape. He couldn't see a tank anywhere, nor any of his comrades. " _Nope, I stand corrected. There's Tucker..._ " He spotted the aqua armor like a white dot on a black background. He began jogging over to his team, which proved to take longer than one would think. It took easily ten minutes to reach the bottom of the path, from there he could see the freelancer working on the tank.

He glanced back up to the mountain path and saw that Tucker was accompanied by Caboose. He decided to go to his teammates and catch up, he didn't really know the freelancer. Then again, since the freelancer was fixing the tank that the idiots destroyed the very least he could do was thank them. He jogged away from the path and up to the freelancer, who didn't notice him and continued to work on the tank. He looked at the tank and could instantly tell where the shells had impacted the tank, there were deep dents on it and some of the treads looked like they had been mangled.

"Wow, I'm gone for one day and the idiots get the tank blown up." The freelancer turned around and faced Linux after hearing his comment.

"Who are you?"

"I don't think we've been properly introduced. I'm Private Linux." He glanced at the tank treads that the freelancer had been repairing. "You seem to know what you're doing with the tank. How long do you think it'll be until it's up and running?"

"I don't see why you would care, from what I heard none of you know how to drive this thing."

"Yeah, well I'm willing to bet if they can use it then so can I... Also, I wanna run the fucktards over for forgetting about me." This brought a lone chuckle from the black soldier. They turned back towards the tank and gestured to the treads.

"Well, it should take about ten or twenty more minutes. It really depends on how well the tank treads meld together." She peaked around him and spotted a spray paint can sitting on the ground. "Hey would you mind handing me that can behind you?" Linux turned around, spotted it, and picked it up before he tossed it to her. "Thanks." She turned back to the tank and started spraying over the exposed gray areas.

"To be honest, I didn't even know we had spray paint out here..." Linux looked past her and to the red base. "Would have made tagging up the red base that weekend a whole lot easier..." Tex stopped working and turned to him, tilting her head inquisitively. "Like I said, would have made it a whole lot easier. Had to use sharpies for the whole thing, took an hour or two and we had to do it at night so they didn't wake up. Thank god we had headlights on these things."

"Heh." She laughed, whether it be from the stupidity of using sharpie markers to vandalize an enemy base or the idiocy of those willing to help he wouldn't know. Their conversation was broken when a particular blue team soldier peaked over the outcrop on the mountain and shouted to them.

"Hey Tex! Did you hear that whole part about Church's secret plan to let the reds know about you?" The incompetent blue just stood there and stared down at the two soldiers who returned the gesture. "No? Okay!" He ran back over the ledge and resumed talking to someone, though they couldn't really tell what they were saying anymore. Tex and Linux just looked to one another in silence before Linux commented.

"Hey, don't look at me. I've barely known the idiot for a day." Tex said nothing in reply but chose to return to fixing the tank. Linux on the other hand, seeing the conversation had reached a dead end, decided to go up the path and see what the blue idiot was talking about. On his way up he noticed Church's body and made a mental note to bury him later. He was more focused with getting away from the immediate area because of how bad the rot smelled. Linux eventually came upon Tucker and Caboose, the later of two was in a radio call. "Tucker, what the hell is Caboose talking about?"

"Huh?"

"Something about Church warning the Reds about the freelancer fixing our tank."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you weren't here when he explained things to us."

"Explained what?"

"Well, you see, when we thought you were pancake batter for the red's warthog and Church was first dead, we had to get a replacement. So we called command once we got back to base and they gave us two options. Either wait a month for an extra blue soldier to be sent or have a freelancer sent, which would only take an hour. I'm sure it should be obvious why we chose the freelancer." Tucker turned to Caboose, who was still on the radio, before turning back.

"I would be unbelievably pissed that you didn't even think to bury me, or Church, if it weren't for the fact that you would have had to spent a month with Caboose. You have my understanding for that but it still doesn't explain Church and the reds."

"Yeah, I was getting to that. See, Church and Tex use to be a thing back in basic training or something like that until Tex was chosen for some secret experiment. It apparently fused the armor with some super aggressive A.I. that made Tex even worse than she was before." Linux broke away from the conversation and looked down to the freelancer that was welding their tank treads enough so it would be able to move. He backed away from the ledge after a moment and looked to Tucker.

"Are you sure he's talking about the same Tex? She doesn't exactly seem mean or aggressive."

"Yeah, that's because you haven't been around her as much, she's like half shark half women. Anyways, if Tex kills the reds then nothing will be keeping her in the canyon anymore. Church is going to use the reds to stall her until he can get her and the A.I. separated." Tucker finished summarizing what happened and the reasons for such things. He half expected Linux to laugh and argue that there was no way any of it was true.

"Eh, I can believe it."

"What? You can?"

"If I hadn't seen Church as a ghost then probably not but seeing as that's true then I don't see why this is any more ludicrous... That and Caboose screaming over the cliff side..."

"Oh, yeah..." It just so happened that an unfamiliar engine revved to life when Tucker finished speaking. Both blue soldiers looked over the edge and saw Tex sitting in the cockpit of the tank. With one more revving, the tank began to pull away from its spot on the hill. The tank was heading towards red base which meant Church was out of time. "Oh fuck berries..."


	7. I-VII

**Author Note:**  
I had fun writing this one, I listened to Red vs Blue Season 13 sound tracks for the duration of writing this video. Particularly "What we fight for" and "Contact" which are amazing songs. In truth, they are all amazing songs and god bless Tracodero for making them.

* * *

 _ **The Pursuit of Happiness**_

 **Chapter 7**

" _The End of a Chapter_ "

"My _name_ is _ **O'Mally...**_ "

"..."

"..." The two blue soldiers stared at Caboose, who was staring back, because his voice had just become unnaturally deep. "Okay, sure. Whatever you say. Look, we got to get down there and help Church."

"What? How?" Tucker turned around, forgetting about Caboose, due to what his teammate said.

"What do you mean?"

"What the hell are we gonna do against a tank? It's best if we just stay up here and not let Church handle this." Linux frowned from behind his helmet once he heard Tucker's suggestion.

"It doesn't matter, we can figure out something. Besides, who are we gonna try to kill if she takes out the reds? It'll only be us in the canyon and I don't know about you but I'm fairly certain I'm not allowed to strangle you."

"Hey what do you expect? I'm a lover not a fighter."

"You're a _pussy_ is what you are." Linux turned around and started to run down the path. He leaped over Church's dead body and turned the corner at the base. He pumped his legs to go faster, not that they could go any faster, and raced after the tank. The tank had begun to slow down once it got within range of the base. Linux began to pant from chasing after the tank, when did he get out of shape? When he finally arrived at the tank, it had fired off a shot and the occupants of red base were scattering.

"Tex! Stop! Stop!" Linux climbed up one of the set of treads and made his way to the cockpit where he found Tex. She turned her helmet and spotted him standing over her, blocking the sun.

"Linux? The hell are you doing?" She clicked the fire button again, causing the tank to jerk. Linux had to drop down to his hands and feet to keep form losing his balance.

"You can't kill the reds Tex!"

"What, why not?" She fired the tank's cannon at the base again. "I thought you guys wanted to win?"

"Um... well the thing is-"

"SUCK IT YOU WHORE!"

"Huh?

"What?"

The two looked to the pinks soldier in the open on the roof of red base. He had just lobbed a glowing blue ball of light at the duo. The ball took its time sailing in the air, granting the two enough time to prevent it from landing on the tank. Though, in admittance, they were both a little surprised at how far that soldier could chuck the grenade. Linux shouted for the freelancer to back the tank up, his calls becoming more frantic the closer the grenade flew. The freelancer, in response, attempted to throw the tank into reverse but found the act exceedingly difficult and began complaining about six different pedals but only four directions. The grenade landed, melting through the bars guarding the cockpit and sticking to Tex's armor.

"Oh shit-" Linux turned to jump off of the tank.

"Aw shit-" The grenade, stuck to the chest plate of the armor, exploded. Linux, who was mid-air by the time the grenade detonated, was flung even further from the force. Tex, somehow, found herself flung out of the cockpit and on the ground beside the tank in a heap. Linux was thrown into a tree and broke many of the branches due to the weight of his armor before landing on the ground and rolling. It took a minute for Linux to get his bearings and shove his hands beneath his body. He heard someone screaming, it sounded like it was Spanish.

He crawled to his knees and began looking around, everything was still a bit off for him. He could see numerous red soldiers on top of the base looking somewhere. He followed their line of sight and found himself looking to his right. Sitting there, in a blaze, was the tank and beside it was the brown soldier-the combat robot-and Tex was on the ground. Wait, the combat robot was standing over Tex, who was bleeding and wounded beside the tank...

"Oh crap..." He pushed himself to his feet and began to charge over to them. He was slowly, sloppy, maybe even clumsy with his starting run but he slowly started to pick up speed and balance himself properly. When the brown robot finally turned in his direction, it was too late. Linux speared him to the ground, away from Tex, before pinning him. Linux held the robot, who was jerking and trying to buck him off, with one hand and began punching the visor with his free one. He managed to punch it three times before it succeeded in throwing him off. When Linux got back to his knees, he was in a crouched position, he had his assault rifle trained on the robots forehead. "Don't move dirt bag!"

The robot remained still until it spoke.

"Estúpido hijo de puta... (You stupid son of a bitch...)" Linux remained still with his gun pointing at the brown soldiers face. He didn't know what he was saying and-if he were being honest-he didn't care.

"Tucker, Caboose! Get your asses down here now!" With in a minute the two blues had gotten there, both panting and out of breath. "Tucker, you're with me! Caboose watch this guy!"

"My _name_ is _**O'Mally!**_ "

"And I don't care! If he moves shoot him!" Linux rushed over to Tex's side with Tucker following him. The robot turned its head to look at Caboose and Caboose, in turn, pointed his sniper rifle at the robot's head.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" Linux said when he flipped her onto her back and began checking her injuries. The breastplate has been shattered by the explosion. Fragments of the metal were drove into her chest and the rest was either partially melted or just gone. He put his finger to her neck and felt a _very_ faint pulse. "Tucker, I need you to get command on the horn. Tell them we have a critically wounded and that they need to send med evac right away."

"Yeah..." Tucker turned away from the scene and began radioing command. He was greeted by the familiar voice of Vic, the command representative for the area. While he talked to Vic, Linux focused on trying to keep the freelancer alive. The wounds were bad, _really bad_ and he wasn't sure if he could save her without any medical supplies. He turned to Tucker and interrupted the conversation to order him to get medical supplies from the base.

"Tex, come on just hang in there. Stay with me, you're gonna be okay." He picked apart what he could of her black armor and tried to clear the wound. The skin beneath the gel, which had been shredded, was severely burned and he could see some sizable chunks of metal sticking out. Blood was leaking out from the wounds and he could see her chest rising slowly, indicating shallow breathing. He tried his best to clean the area but there's only so much could do with his gloves. He could hear some wheezing come from her helmet, so he lifted her head. "Come on, Tucker's almost back with the supplies-you're gonna be fine."

Her helmet tilted slightly to where she could see him...

"Do I... know you?..."

"Yeah, look save your strength. Tucker's going to be back any moment now." He looked up to see the aqua soldier just leaving the base, arms carrying a bag and two first aid kits. "TUCKER! HURRY THE HELL UP!"

"Tucker...?" Her head started drooping a bit but she was jerked awake when he shook her helmet a little.

"Caboose, do you know where Church is?" She couldn't really hear anything beyond that, everything kind of muffled the further away it was. Even Linux's voice was muffled to her.

"Church..." She managed to say with a weak voice. Very quickly everything blurred and started to darken. Her hearing quickly followed after and soon all she could hear were barely audible muffles...

* * *

The blues sat inside of their base, the kitchen to be specific. Linux sat in a chair at the table, a small one that fit in the corner of the room, with one hand pressed to his head with his body slumped up against the wall beside it. His gauntlets were covered in dark red trails that stretched from his gloved finger tips to his elbows. Those same red trails covered some of his chest armor and thigh plates, as well as one armor plated shoe. Across from him was Tucker, who was fully suited up and had a cup of coffee in one hand but wasn't drinking it. Both soldiers were sitting in the silence of the kitchen...

When they had retreated to red base, both carrying Tex in their arms with the best shoddy work they could manage, the left the robot behind. They had to get Caboose to help them too, they didn't want to risk injuring her anymore than she already was. They had activated a wall panel that released a small cot from the wall and they set her down on it. They weren't medics or doctors, they had to work from memory of old text books from basic training and high school. It was a mess and their best hope was for Tex to somehow pull through because they couldn't do anything more until the medic arrived.

Sometime after waiting in the room in absolute silence, Tucker just stood up and walked over to the sink and poured the coffee out. He just set the cup in the sink before walking out. He stopped in front of the door and paused before saying something to Linux. "Look, I can understand how you feel man... that shit was fucked up... but I'm not gonna sit here and mope like a bitch about it... I suggest you don't either." With that said, Tucker left the room and he was once again by himself...

The sound of air being released drew his attention to the opposite door, directly to his left. In came the blue armored rookie Caboose-or O'Mally or whatever the hell he was calling himself. He walked over to the fridge and opened it, reaching inside and grabbing something he couldn't make out. He pulled out a plate of sandwiches and grabbed a bottle of water. He turned around and saw Linux, the two having a stare off before Caboose close the door comically slowly with his leg. Caboose then left the room and Linux was once again plunged into silence. He glanced at the refrigerator before looking back at the table in front of him, letting only a single chuckle come out.

" _I didn't know we had anything other than M.R.E.s..._ " He whispered to himself. His stomach rumbled and he was hit with a wave of hunger pain. He looked at his stomach and thought of the last time he had eaten, which felt like so long ago to him. He had eaten the night before Caboose had arrived because he had forgotten breakfast that morning. He slipped out from his seat and casually walked over to the fridge and opened it. There was a wide variety of food stored with in the fridge but he ultimately chose to filling things that wouldn't leave him hungry anytime soon.

He grabbed a box of oatmeal cookies and a jug of orange juice. He set them on the table before reaching up into a cabinet and grabbing one of the metal glasses and setting that too on the counter. He set down and popped the plastic container of the cookies open. He carefully and slowly slid his helmet off, taking in the first breath of fresh air he had had since that very same morning. He poured a glass of orange juice and and wolfed down a cookie, using the juice to wash it down. He glanced at the box and made a mental note to remember that they were somewhat stale. He wolfed down a few more cookies and two more glasses before putting the items, what was left of them, back in the fridge.

He left the room and walked back into his own room. He unlocked the door and slipped inside but once inside he had realize he'd left his helmet in the kitchen on the table. He looked at the door and considered going back for it but ultimately chose not to. It wasn't like someone was going to mess with it and-if he were being honest-he was just too tired and exhausted from the day to go back for it. He stripped his armor and set it on the ground in a _semi-_ neat manner before collapse on his bed. He had enough strength to pull the sheets over him before he passed out...

 _What a day..._


	8. I-VIII

**Author Note:  
** For those of you reading, I highly recommend listening to Red vs Blue OST "What We Fight For" because it was the song I had in mind while making this chapter...

* * *

 _ **The Pursuit of Happiness**_

 **Chapter 8  
**

" _Intermission_ "

Some time had passed since the events of the accident. For the most part everything had returned to how it was before the freelancer had arrived. Tucker occasionally made his quips when someone made something mildly suggestive. Caboose- _O'Mally_ -had taken to just doing random things around the base. From trying to talk to Sheila to just moping around; although, the rate he was threatening Tucker at was a bit concerning. After a bit of confusion, they had gotten Church back. It would seem that he had possessed the brown combat robot from the red team.

It had taken him and Tucker little less than a week to translate what he was saying. It took a little longer to get the language settings changed form Spanish to English. After that they had taken to spray painting and polishing the armor to look exactly like Church's old body. Of course, with it being a robotic body, it wasn't as flexible or limber as his real one. Church had taken the incident pretty hard and had only started returning to normal recently. As for Tex... she didn't make it...

The freelancer had fought hard, anyone would agree, and she had even lasted two whole days with the blue team caring for her. Eventually, she just passed away in her sleep on the third night. After that, Church had become somewhat depressed and didn't argue as much as he use to. The medic that blue command had said was being sent never arrived. No one would say it but each of the blue soldiers had lost a tremendous amount of faith in the commanders after the incident.

Linux was sitting on top of the blue base with his assault rifle in hand. The subtle hum of the teleporter beside him helped clear his mind. Things were really boring since then but he supposed he shouldn't be complaining. The last time action picked up, he was run over, captured, and nearly blown up by a plasma grenade. He looked down at his legs, which were dangling over the ledge, and focused on the scar across his thigh plate. He had manage to make it blend in more with his armor but it still stood out just enough that if you glanced at it in passing you could tell it was there. Fortunately, the god awful black soot that covered his armor had been relatively easy to clean off but the same couldn't be said for Tucker's.

For some unexplained reason, his armor clung to the black material much more than his or Caboose's- _O'Mally's_ -he thought. He was going to have to remember that because the blue soldier had become very adamant about expressing his dislike towards people who called him Caboose. He had even taken to threatening Linux but after a quick talk about how he would beat the rookie half way to death with his own arms the outbursts and incidents lessened. He stirred from his thoughts when he heard to metal clinking of armored boots. When he looked behind him he expected to see Tucker or Caboose but instead he saw Church in the body he had commandeered.

"Oh, it's you..." The two soldiers stared at each other before Church let out a sigh. That was, by its self, odd because he was under the impression that robots didn't have lungs.

"Look, I just wanna say..." Robot soldier looked away from him and out to the horizon where one could barely see the top of red base. "... thank you... For what you tried-what you did for Tex. You didn't have to do that..." Linux just stared at Church before he redirecting his gaze to the hills of Blood Gulch.

"Yeah, I guess not..." No more words were exchanged before Church started to walk away from him. The clinks started to get quieter and quieter until they were about to exit the roof. "Yo Church! Hold on a sec." The electric blue soldier scrambled to his feet. Once he was standing, he made his way over to where Church was standing, at the top of the ramp. "You gonna go spy on the reds?"

"I had it in mind, yeah."

"Mind if I come with?"

"Nah, feel free."

The two blue soldiers made their way off of the roof and through the base. They grabbed made sure they had plenty of ammunition before heading out. The two walked past the hills, not even pausing at the two graves, and up the mountain path until they were at the outcrop. Once there, Church took out his sniper rifle and began monitoring the reds and Linux, to pass the time, took out his knife and began to carve into the rock face. To many, it looked like gibberish but it was actually a make shift map of Blood Gulch. The vantage point offered a perfect view of the canyon and the large wall gave him more than enough space to add some details. The two stayed up there all day long until night approached.

"Come on, we should be heading back. I don't want to torture Tucker with Caboose for too long." Church turned around and found the rock face behind him had been covered with chiseled markings. "The hell are you doing?" Linux, who was still carving, turned his attention to Church.

"Oh me? I was making a map of the canyon from here." He pointed to blue base and red base as well as some of the things like the outcrop they were on and a possible cave. "I'm not the best but since the rock on this wall is pretty soft I could get some details in there."

"And you didn't think the reds might be able to use this too?"

"Have you ever seen any of the reds up here?"

"Well no-"

"Then I think it's safe to assume they don't know of this place or the map." Linux turned around and picked up his assault rifle, he had set the gun down some time after he started getting into carving the map. "Besides, you're right. We need to be getting home, there some left over food that isn't an M.R.E. and if we don't get it then Caboose will."

"Yeah, I guess you got a point." Church went to walk past him but stopped and faced him. "Come on, knowing Caboose he'll probably just try to feed it to the tank." He started making his way down the path with Linux following him.

"Hey, you said you took over the robot right?"

"Yeah."

"Ever wonder if the robot could fix the tank? I mean it is a robot right? So shouldn't it have some sort of idea on what to do?"

"Hmmm... I'll look into it later, for now let's get back." The started jogging back to the base, foregoing running over the hills in favor of running in the valleys between them.

"Actually, now that I think about it. Do you even need to eat? I mean you are in a robot right?"

"I don't think I need to but I know I certainly can." Church had his rifle slung over his shoulder and was looking back at Linux. "I can't take off my helmet or anything but I know the front of the mask opens for food."

"Maybe can convert the food to energy or something..."

"Yeah maybe..."

The returned to the base and walked into the main room. There the blue flag was, waving in the gentle breeze... it had somehow lost some of it's beauty though neither soldier could tell why. Something else true their attention and it was the two soldiers before them. Tucker had a cookie in one hand that was held high above his head. His free hand and leg were busy trying to keep Caboose away from said cookie. The blue rookie was pushing towards Tucker, trying to reach the cookie in his hands.

" _ **Give me the cookie or else...**_ " A deep-unnatural voice-resonated from Caboose's speakers. Tucker simply looked to the left and made a plea for help.

"Dude's give me hand." The two blues simply stared at the struggling Tucker before they both shook their head and walked into the kitchen, leaving him with Caboose. "Wait! Come back!" The door slid shut and two blues began to raid the fridge of anything eatable and tasty...

* * *

The next day the blues were all gathered on the roof. Church had brought them there discuss the tank, which was still where it was when the incident occurred. The tank had been put out but no one had actually bothered to try and move it back. If the reds commandeered the tank and got it working then it would be all over for them. Church's plan was simple because it entirely consisted of everyone pushing the damn thing back to base, avoiding the hills, and then figuring out how to repair the vehicle. There was only one problem...

"Oh so you don't have to do anything?" Tucker was protesting the plan and Linux had to admit he was partially on board too. Church's plan-to specify-was him using the sniper rifle to keep watch while everyone else pushed the tank.

"What? Is it a problem?"

"Oh no, it's fine for you but the rest of us have to bust our asses and shove that heavy ass tank back."

"Tucker, you don't even know how to use the sniper rifle. I'm the only one who does-"

"That's because you don't let me use the damn thing."

"And I'm never gonna. Now quite your whining and let's get going. The sooner we get it done the sooner we can relax." Church turned and ran through the teleporter, leaving no room for argument.

"Man, this is bullshit." Tucker turned to run down the ramp, Caboose and Linux following after him. The trek took longer than any of them wanted but thankfully they took their time to run and found themselves there with only a fraction of the fatigue they would have had should they had run there. When they did arrive, they could see Church up on the outcrop crouching while looking through the scope of the rifle. The blues looked between one another before sighing and getting in front of the tank. They were exposed from that angle to red base, which was bad. They were down a teammate and their tank.

"Come on-push." Linux told his comrades while shoving against the tank with all of his might. They all pushed and the tank slowly started to move. They could hear the slow clinking of the tank treads but the thing hardly moving. Linux chanced a glance at his teammates and felt himself freeze. Caboose had was trying to lift the tank and on his opposite side he could see Tucker trying to push with his pack. "You got to be kidding me..." He step off from the tank and it slowed to a halt.

"Hey what gives?" Tucker called from his position against the tank. He stopped pushing and stared at Linux but Caboose seemed oblivious that the two had stopped.

"What gives? What in god's name are you two doing? That's not how you push something this heavy." Linux then got into the correct position and gestured for Tucker to do the same. When he did he also managed to get Caboose into the same position. "On 3, I want us all to push forward okay?" He got nods from both of his teammates until Tucker interrupted.

"What on 3 or after 3?"

"Tucker _on_ 3." Linux turned his attention towards the tank. He began rocking his body in rhythm with his counting. "1... 2... 3!" He shoved forward with all the might his legs and arms could muster. This time the tank began to move backwards and a much steadier pave, a brisk walking pace. "Keep it up!" Linux called two his two teammates, who were grunting and exerting as much effort as him. "Faster, go faster" he called when they got to the first dip in the ground. The sped up and, to their surprise, managed to successfully use the tank's momentum to push it over the crest.

"Wow, that was actually better than I expected..." Tucker told Linux from beside him.

"I wouldn't get too happy Tucker..."

"What? Why not..." He looked past the tank and saw a number of more crests and valleys they had to cross to get the tank back to base. Linux began to prepared for another push...

"1... 2... 3!"

"Aw fuck berries..."


	9. II-IX

**Author Note:** _N/A_

* * *

 _ **The Pursuit of Happiness**_

 **Chapter 9**

" _The Come Back Kids_ "

It was another day in Blood Gulch when a certain soldier woke up. It was Private Linux of blue team and he was tired. He had been tossing and turning the whole night and had barely managed to sleep in small fractions. When his alarm clock went off, he damn near smashed the thing like a paper sack. He, after an unnecessarily long struggle, managed to drag himself out of his bed. He stood up and walked over to his desk where he changed his clothes. His old ones were starting to smell and needed to be washed, which was something he needed to talk to Tucker about, where the washing machine and dryer was.

He put on a cool white shirt but he had foregone the sweatpants in favor of a pair of briefs. Had he chosen the sweatpants then he probably would have been sweating inside his armor and he didn't want that kind of smell lingering inside his armor. Thankfully, his new clothes were cool and helped wake him up. With the new and clean clothes on, he slipped on the ballistic gel suit and then attached the armor pieces manually. He took a look at his reflection in the gold visor of his helmet. He could see his hair was a mess and his eyes had bags underneath them. He looked rugged and there was hair starting to appear along his face.

"Am I getting a beard?" He whispered to himself before bringing the visor closer to get a better look. After a few glances in the reflection, he shook his head before flipping his helmet around and sliding it on. He heard the his of it sealing and he could see the H.U.D. activate. The soft hum of the air filter and cooling system filled his ears before dying down to a barely audible background sound. He picked up his assault rifle from the desk, glancing at the extra magazines to the side. He had a full gun and no one was planning on going anywhere so he saw no need in bring them with him.

He left the room, taking a brief glance to the main room where the flag stood before turning and heading out the back of the base. He climbed to the top of the base using the ramp and headed over to the edge of the roof. It was there he noticed voices, particularly the voices of his teammates but there was something different. There was a voice he didn't recognize, someone new he hadn't met before. When he made it to the edge of the roof, he saw someone he had never seen before. It was a soldier in purple armor and their were holding what looked to be a plasma pistol. Apparently Church was talking to them, something about them doing a good job.

Linux would have been inclined to watch some more if his peripherals didn't steal his attention. He looked towards the movement and saw some people he hadn't had contact with in a while. Every single member of red team was standing had just come to a stop, almost as if both sides had spotted each other simultaneously. He saw the red leader, he had learned he was a the Sargent of their team, raise his shotgun and the pink soldier followed his lead. He only had seconds to react to what happened, a sniper rifle pierced the air and hit the plasma pistol in the new comer's hands. He didn't need and invitation to raise his gun and scream to his team.

"CONTACT!" He stood firm and began firing his assault rifle towards the reds. The initial shots caught them by surprise but it was enough to by blue team enough time to scramble to cover. The reds reciprocated in kind to him and the Sargent and the pink soldier began firing at him. He ducked behind cover and watched as slug and sniper round alike tore chunks out of his cover. He put the barrel of his gun around the corner and squeezed the trigger, causing the gun to almost kick out of his hands.

He pulled the gun back and watched a vapor trail shoot pass him and a cloud of dust come from the canyon wall. He heard someone in the battle field yell "suck it blue" and he turned and fired the gun in their direction. He was rewarded with a shriek of surprise and bared his teeth inside his helmet. He glanced back around the corner before yanking his head back as a chunk of concrete was torn off of his cover. He pressed his back up to the wall and slid down to a crouch before he checked his H.U.D. which offered an ammunition counter. It only kept track of rounds inside the gun but it was still useful. Unfortunately for him, he was down to his last 12 rounds of ammunition because he hadn't brought the extra mags(magazines).

"Better dead than red!" He screamed as he leaped out from behind cover and began strafing to new cover. The entire way he was holding down the trigger and the gun kicked with each round he sent their way. When he reached the next part of full cover he glanced at the corner of his screen. The gun was out of bullets and there was no way a trick like that would work a second time. " _Well, given how crappy they are it might..._ " He thought to himself. He checked his body and found that he was lucky enough to have an M6D magnum clipped to his thigh plate.

He pulled the gun out and check the magazine, finding it full, then cocked it. He leaned out of cover and fired off four rounds at the pink sniper and the red Sargent. The two evaded him before resuming their shots and forcing him into cover. More chunks were torn off and he blindly fired three shots at the two. Suddenly the incoming fire stopped and gave him a breather. He peaked out form cover and found, much to his confusion, that the two had disappeared. He wasted no time and dropped down to the ground level from the roof.

When he landed, his momentum carried him forward into a role before he stopped in a crouched position. To his right were Tucker and Church, who were crouched behind a large rock but the new comer and Caboose were no where in sight. Just beyond the two blues on the peak of a hill were the entirety of the red forces and they seemed to be talking to one another. He made his way over to his teammates as quickly as possible and took shelter with them. He checked his H.U.D. one last time, it read five rounds, before he alerted them to his presence.

"Linux?" Tucker said when he turned to him.

"Linux, thank god. Tell me you have some ammo!" Church asked but Linux could only shake his head negative.

"Negative, I just got the pistol and it's already down to five rounds." He shook the pistol before tapping it against his helmet.

"Dude, don't you carry extra ammunition in case of emergencies." Tucker asked.

"Yeah, well I didn't see the reason to after three months of little to no contact with the reds." Linux peaked over the rock and saw they were still talking. "Besides, who would when your enemy takes three months to plan a full frontal assault?"

"Well it work didn't it?" Church rebutted.

"What are you defending them now?" Linux questioned.

"No but I was proving my point that you are supposed to be carrying extra ammo."

"Since when?"

"Since the last meeting _Linux._ " Oh boy, here we go again...

"You mean you were serious about those meetings? I thought it was some practical joke since you guys never seem to do anything in this canyon."

"Yeah, well it's your fault-"

"Oh good they retreated." Church had been interrupted by the new comer in purple armor. During their conversation he had managed to return with Caboose in tow.

"Hey Doc, how's is it?" Church asked them.

"Oh good, aside form being shot at-"

"I was asking about Caboose's toe." Church interrupted him due to how off topic it was.

"Oh that? Yeah that fell off like half and hour ago." Everyone turned to Caboose after he said that.

"I'll miss you pinkey toe... _**You will be avenged!**_ " Well, at least he was still being Caboose. It was just then that Linux took notice of something he had never addressed earlier.

"Is it just me or does everyone arrive while I'm off screen?"

"Off what?" Tucker finally spoke up.

"Y'know, like when I'm not around."

"Well you were here when Caboose-"

" _ **O'Mally.**_ "

"- _O'Mally_ arrived." Tucker said.

"Yeah but that's different. Tex and Doc both arrived some time when I wasn't around y'know." Linux then turned to look at you dear reader through your computer monitor. "It's almost like something or _someone_ were going out of their way to make it happen." All of the blues and the one named Doc were just staring at him for a good minute. It was actually Tucker who broke the silence of the group.

"Yeah, this is getting a little bit weird."

"Write, back to important things... What were was going on?" Linux asked but it would seem that god was listening to him as an answer was provided right away.

"Blue team! We are here to negotiate the terms of your surrender!" He could hear the gruff voice of their Sargent call out.

"Oh right..."

"Hold on guys, I'll handle this." Church turned around and left cover a bit and searched around. After a brief moment he spotted them hiding just out of sight. There was a palm tree offering them cover. "There, they're hiding behind that palm tree."

"Palm tree? What palm tree?" Tucker asked.

"What's a palm tree?" Caboose allowed his idiocy to infect the conversation again.

"Wait, we can grow plants in this canyon?"

"Okay, yeah. It looks like they're out of ammo." Church said after observing the reds some more. He glanced back at his team before activating his microphones built into the helmet. The microphone initially gave of some static feedback before calming down. "What are your terms?!"

"Wait, what?" Linux asked, bewildered by his teammates sudden attitude on their situation.

"We want your flag-"

"Like hell!" Linux rushed forward and shouted, interrupting the red Sargent.

"-to stay right where it is! Keep it!" The Sargent turned towards his troops before turning back to the blues. "We want our mechanical droid back! You may know his as Mister El Roboto!"

"Oh..." Church said to himself after hearing that.

"Church, what are you gonna do? Give them your body?" Tucker said from behind Church and Linux.

"Chingedo! I just got this body! Ain't no way I'm giving it up now." Church turned back to the reds and called to them. "Yeah, uh he's not here right now. He kind of ran off!"

"Yeah! He was all like "Sayonara!" and he bounced!" Church turned towards Tucker after hearing his addition to the negotiating.

"Tucker that isn't Spanish, that's French." He turned back to the reds before calling out to them. "How about a medic? Would that work as a hostage?"

"Hostage?" Both Doc and Linux said at the same time but Linux followed through on the idea. "Church? Church you can't be serious. We still have ammunition, it wouldn't be a problem to run these dorks off!"

"Yeah!" The reds called back.

"Great, now what do we get!?" Church called back, ignoring Linux's badgering.

"Get? You don't get anything, you're surrendering! The only thing you get is humiliation and shame!" A particularly scrawny sounding voice called.

"We already got that! What else you got?" Tucker shouted.

"I would say for you to speak for yourself but I can honestly say I'm feeling that from being on this team right now." Linux commented.

"How about if you admit the reds suck?" Church asked. The reds seemed to huddle together for moment before the Sargent stepped forward.

"What if we admit that one of us sucks?"

Sometimes Linux wondered what he did to deserve being sent to this back water canyon...


	10. II-X

**Author Note:** I changed Tucker's armor color to _cyan_ from _aqua_.

* * *

 _ **The Pursuit of Happiness**_

 **Chapter 10  
**

" _Instruction Not Included..._ "

The gold colored soldier from the red team had just thoroughly humiliated himself in front of everyone in Blood Gulch. Somehow the surrender from the blues had been spun around by Church. The blue team was getting rid of someone they didn't want and the red team was having a member humiliate himself. A certain Private had to admit he was impressed by Church's negotiation skills. The red team had recently taken Doc, as the term had been coined by Church, and the blue team had just settled back into their base... sort of...

Church had taken to going through the books and booklets inside the base. Caboose had taken to sitting down and watching clouds in the sky. Tucker had been roped into "training" with Linux on the roof of blue base. It was supposed to be a sparing match but it become a one sided beat down for Tucker. The cyan soldier was on one knee with his hands up in the submissive position. It had Linux about to pull his hair out, it was like they had never been trained in hand to hand combat before. He let out a sigh before he took Tucker's arm and pull him to his feet.

"Look Tucker, I'm not trying to hurt you. Hand to hand is something you need to know in case you find yourself without a gun." Linux returned to his starting position and put his arms up, Tucker followed his lead, albeit begrudgingly. "If those reds hadn't run out of ammunition then they could have overwhelmed us. It was by sheer luck that were didn't get captured." Linux approached him and threw his right leg out. Fortunately, Tucker managed to catch the leg but was dropped by a drop kick from the other one.

Linux scrambled to his feet and raised his left forearm to block a strike from Tucker. Before Tucker could pull back Linux grabbed his helmet and brought it to his knee. The cyan soldier stumbled backward before glancing up at Linux. Linux threw a left punch and followed it with a right punch, both of which found their mark and jiggled the cyan soldier's head. Tucker stumble back further until he had a good bearing on what was happening. Linux quickly approached him and threw a strong punch. Imagine his surprised when Tucker used his forearms to block it before kicking off of Linux's chest piece.

Linux quickly steadied himself for Tucker's charge. He let the cyan soldier reach for him before reacting. He grabbed the Private First Class's arm and slung over his shoulder. When they landed, Linux slugged him between his chest plate and shoulder plate, which caused Tucker to clutch his shoulder and grown. Linux took a few steps back from his comrade and waited for him to stand. They did eventually stand up but it was accompanied by more complaining and whining from the cyan soldier.

"Oh for god's sake man, can we give it a rest? You've already kicked my ass five times already!" Tucker got back into his fighting stance and braced himself for another round of one sided fist fights. "Man why do you only do this with me? Why not Caboose?" Tucker ran at him and threw punch, which Linux ducked under before punching him across the visor.

"Because Caboose is just as likely to shoot me as a red..." He grabbed Linux and did a suplex on him before rolling to his feet. The cyan soldier stayed on the ground and held his gut.

"Then what about Church?" Tucker was pulled to his feet by Linux who patted his shoulder.

"What about me?" Church asked when he wondered on to the roof. The two blue soldiers looked to him before Linux answered.

"He was asking why I never ask to train with you."

"It's because I'm not an idiot and I'm not trying to get hurt more than necessary." Church emphasized his point by banging his pistol on his robotic body. "I can't afford to break anything on this." Church approached them and stopped in front of them.

"Well we wouldn't have to be doing this if the tank wasn't blown to hell." Linux commented.

"Speaking of which, how are we going to get that thing fixed?" Tucker looked between his two teammates when he asked the question. "Hey Church, isn't that thing you're possessing the robot from red team?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Well can't you use it to fix the tank then?"

"Maybe... Here, let me see if I can-Oh wait I think I got it." Church exclaimed at how quick and easy it was. He was not the only blue soldier surprised by how quickly he figured it out. It actually irritated Linux just a bit that they had these tools and never fixed the tank. Linux opened his mouth and was prepared to give the defacto leader of blue team a piece of his mind. "No, wait... no. It's just the thermostat... It is currently 26 degrees by the way."

"What? It can't be 26 degrees out here that's freezing-"

"Celsius Tucker."

"Dude Celsius sucks-"

"Enough." The two turned to Linux, who had been quite for the past minute. "Just focusing and finding a way to fix the tank. What scale we measure the temperature with isn't hardly relevant in comparison." Tucker just shrugged his shoulders, it wasn't really an important issue that he'd challenge Linux over.

"Hey I'm gonna try some more from in here. See if you can find something on the outside that might help." With that said, Church stopped talking and went perfectly still. Linux and Tucker were left on the outside with nothing to really do because, as far as they could see, it was a normal body but it was mechanical. The two looked between each other before LInux shrugged his shoulders.

"Good luck with that Tucker, I'm going to go make sure Caboose hasn't destroyed anything." Linux turned away from the cyan soldier and made his way to the edge of the base. When he walked down the ramp he could faintly hear Tucker's protests but he pushed those to the back of his mind. He made his way inside the base and into the main room. From there he proceeded to search the kitchen, Caboose's room, and then every other room in the base. "Where the hell did he go?" Linux found himself standing in the main room looking like an fool with nothing to do.

He decided to give up searching for the blue numb nuts for the moment and return to Tucker and Church. He didn't like Caboose but him missing might be a problem. Church and Tucker should definitely know that their rookie has gone and made himself scarce. He exited the base and heard a familiar voice on the roof. He furrowed his brows when he walked up the ramp. He was hearing _multiple_ voices and it sounded a lot more than just Tucker and Church. He crossed the crest of the ramp and saw, to his relief, that the blue rookie was standing with the rest of his team.

Unfortunately, they weren't alone because he could hear more voices too. That and Tucker was standing at the edge of the roof with Church while Caboose was a few feet back. Two of the voices he didn't recognize but one of them he _certainly_ did. It was the gold colored soldier from red team, the one that had been the butt of the joke earlier that day. He reached Caboose and could see over the edge at exactly who was there. The gold soldier wasn't the only one from red team as his maroon teammate had accompanied him. Surprisingly, they had also brought the purple guy back to their base.

"Look, just take him back!" The maroon one shouted to the blue team.

"Yeah, we don't think so. A deal is a deal, besides we don't have anymore prisoners to give you." Church shouted from where he was standing. For some reason he had his back to them and wasn't turning. Linux was not the only soldier to notice this because the gold one commented on it.

"Hey! Didn't your mother tell it's rude not to look at people when you're talking to them?" Church didn't get the chance to defend himself because Caboose butted into the conversation in place of Church.

"He's shy!"

"Caboose, shut up." Church looked like he pivoted as much as he could from his position without actually turning around. "Look can you just leave? We're kind in the middle of something... private... here." The members of red team looked between one another before turning around to leave. Linux started to question just what was wrong with everybody in this canyon, again. The red team reached the end of the hill before the golden one turned back to the blue base.

"Are you sure!?"

"Yes!" Tucker shouted in response because, honestly, Church's voice probably wouldn't have reached them with him being turned around. When they cleared the hill, everything became quiet with exception of Church's sighing. Seeing his opportunity, Linux decided to ask some questions.

"Hey, since everything is calm now I need to ask y'all some stuff." The blues focused on him, allowing him the silence to speak. "I know we met him hours ago but I never really asked. Why was the medic hear in the first place?" Tucker answered the question.

"He was the asshole we asked for over three months ago when Tex first got hurt."

"Wait, you're kidding right?"

"Nope."

"Who the hell is running this army?" Linux didn't realize it at the time but he had just made the first statement that Church could relate to. He sighed and shook his head before continuing with his questions. "Secondly, Caboose how did you even get outside without me noticing? I went into the base to look for you and next thing I know you're out here."

"Well, I just walked out here."

"No, that's not... never mind..." He turned from the solid blue soldier to the powder blue soldier for his last question. "When did you become shy?" The question pulled a hiss from Church before the blue answered.

"I am not shy. Tucker accidentally disable my legs while we were trying to disable this weird beeping sound that activated when Tucker flipped my switch." Church stared at Linux with an unamused expression, he wasn't shy everyone around him were just idiots. Despite Church's reasons for staring at Linux, Linux's reasons for staring at Church couldn't have been further from his. The silence hung in the air until Linux decided to comment on Church's answer.

"Dude, how long have you guys been down here?"

"What? No, not like that! There's a switch between my legs-"

"It's called a dick. Again, I repeat my question, how long have you guys been down here?"

"Ha ha, very funny ass hat but that's not what I mean. There is literally a metal switch between my legs and the crotch plate." Church turned back to Tucker and continued to speak. "Speaking of which, get over here and help me get my legs working again."

"Hell no, I'm not flipping your switch again."

" _Tucker..._ " Church growled at the cyan soldier.

"The reds left the purple guy in the valley..." The blues turned to Caboose, who was holding the sniper rifle and looking through the scope.

"What?" All three asked the blue rookie.

"I said they abandoned the purple guy in the middle of the valley." Caboose repeated.

"What? Why would they do that? Hey Church, should we got get him?" Tucker asked.

"No it's probably a trap set by the reds." Church answered.

"I'm not one to agree with Church but the bastard can rot for all I care." Linux added.

"Caboose, what's it look like?" Caboose stared down the scope for a moment before his shoulder's tensed and his grip tightened on the sniper rifle in his hands.

" _ **I think he's going to attack...**_ " He said.

"What, the purple guy? Nah, he's a pussy fest-"

"Pacifist Tucker." Church corrected him.

"Yeah, paci-whatever." Tucker focused on the rookie of the team. "You're being ridiculous Caboose." Said blue soldier turned the sniper rifle to Tucker and zoomed in so he had a close up on his face.

" _OR!_ Is it just so ridiculous that it's the most ridiculous thing _you never thought of?_ "

"No, it's just the normal kind of ridiculous."

"Guy's focus." Everyone turned to back to Linux, who had been staying silent. "We need to get Church's legs fixed so we can find a way to fix the tank."

"Hey! I have an _idea..._ " Caboose gestured his rifle towards Church's body. "Why don't we have Church leave the robot's body and have the robot fix its self _and_ the tank?" Caboose waited for everyone's response and you could practically feel the gaping smile behind his helmet. Everyone stayed quiet before Church commented on Caboose's plan/idea on how to fix the tank and the body.

"Who are you and what did you do with Caboose?"


	11. II-XI

**Author Note:  
** Hello! I wanted to let you all know that the Spanish in this chapter was brought to you by the power of Google Translate! I also had some trouble with the flow of this chapter but I hope it isn't a problem.

* * *

 _ **The Pursuit of Happiness**_

 **Chapter 11**

" _...And so it begins..._ "

"Okay, let's do this. In 3... 2... 1!" The body that Church was possessing jerked and writhed violently. All three members of blue base could hear gears and such grinding inside of its body. The body eventually slowed its motion but still kept the occasional twitch. After it had settled down the sound of fans running and weird beeps could be heard resonating from the body. The body started to look around, slowly at first, until it spotted all three blues surrounding it and decided to play paralyzed.

"S'up." Linux said. The robot's attention focused on him before it did two things. First it said something in Spanish that none of the Blood Gulch blues understood. The second thing it did was back pedal away from them and off the roof. This prompted all three of them to run to the edge, to see if the robot was damaged at all. They quickly discovered it wasn't because it was still backpedaling away from the base.

"After it!" Linux shouted before jumped off the roof to chase the robot. He stumbled when he landed but quickly got to his feet and sprinted after the robot. He could hear Church's voice shouting from the base. It was followed by two thuds which was probably the others joining in the chase. He could make out Church screaming at them not to break his body. Well, he would try to not break it but he couldn't guarantee anything.

He started to get closer to the robotic fugitive. He could hear the mechanical servos in its legs whirring while it ran. At some point the robot had turned forward without Linux noticing. It didn't matter as Linux was close enough to reach out for the robot, his hand clipping the breast plate more than enough times to irritate the blue soldier. He pumped his legs to go faster and he began to get with in grabbing distance of the robot. Just as his hand was close enough to get a good grip on the robot he began to lose ground. His lungs were hurting now and he couldn't keep up much longer.

"Just... hold... still!" Linux leaped to the robot and his arms wrapped around the robot's chest and dragged it down to the ground with him. The robot stopped immediately, garnering a few scratches on its armor but mostly seeping into the dirt a bit. On the other hand, when Linux fell he started to roll until he was good four feet away from the robot on his back. The soldier was taking quick shallow breaths and his breast plate showed that. "Damn... robot... can run..." From his spot on the ground, he could hear his teammates finally catch up and drag the bot to its feet.

"Man, I don't want to sound racist or nothing but you sure can run..." Tucker said to the robot. The robot merely stared in response before looking to apparition of Church.

"¿Es el cian y el idiota?"

"Um... Yeah... sure..." Church answered the robot, clearly unsure of what the robot was saying. "Look we need you to fix the tank." Church gestured to the tank sitting not to far off to the right of the group.

"Negativo, rufuse trabajar para el enemigo."

"Well that's just great..." Tucker commented, having made the correct assumption that the robot has said no; although, he didn't know why the robot wouldn't do it. Church would have asked again in a less than pleasant way if it hadn't been for the whining of a certain Private not too far from them.

"Thanks for helping they guy who caught the damn robot." Linux said as he slowly made his way to his feet. He was about to stand when he noticed them every single soldier staring behind him. He turned his head to see what they were looking to and swore under his breath. Driving towards all of them was the red team in their warthog. How they managed to get it repaired was anyone's guess but Linux wasn't thinking about that because he was too busy saying a phrase to himself. "Son of a bitch..."

Before the warthog got within ten feet of him it exploded into the air and the result force wave picked Linux up off the ground and flung him away from the center. He crashed into the robot behind him and the two clattered to the ground. The robot with a comment in Spanish and the blue with a groan of pain. With extreme effort, Linux brought himself to his knees and pushed off of one of them to stand up. He took the time to spin around, disoriented, and look for his teammates. Imagine how much his eye twitched when he saw the blues had abandoned him and fled to the confines of the blue base. He would be angry at them if it weren't for the nagging feeling of vomit in the back of his throat.

He managed to force the feeling back down before he looked to the robot he had landed on top of. Aside from being scratched and a dent on the left portion of the breast plate, the robot was unharmed. He reached down and, conjuring up even more effort, he lifted the robot to its feet. Linux inhaled and exhaled quite loudly and barely paid to robot any mind when it started speaking to its self. What he did pay mind to was the blue soldiers racing back to them. In the time it took Linux to finish calming down, the robot stopped talking and the blues made it there.

"Fuck... all of you..." He said through his helmet speakers. They didn't pay him any mind but instead focused on the robot.

"Okay, you're still okay... that's good... So are you gonna fix our tank?" The robot just stared blankly at the powder blue soldier.

"Sí, haz conmigo lo que quieras ..." The blue team stared quietly at the robot for a minute before Church worked up the sense to speak.

"Okay... This way..." The blues lead the Spanish speaking robot over to where the tank was, Linux trailed behind the group, and showed him the poor state it was in. "Okay, a grenade blew up inside of the cockpit so we need you to-" The robot walked past him and began to pry and peal off some of the damaged parts. "Or y'know... whatever you feel deserves the most attention..."

The robot, over the course of two hours it managed to successfully fix the tank and get it in operating order again. It had removed the seat and put a new one in, replaced the entire console, and even rewired some of the buttons to make it easier to use. By the time it had finished the entire tank looked newer than when it had landed in the canyon. A part of Linux wondered where the robot got all of the materials to do it. Once the robot had finished it was covered in grease and oil as well as well as some dye that no doubt came from the seat. It backed away from the tank and admired its handy work before turning back to the blues of blue team.

"Su tanque está fijo diablos azules." The voice was the same monotone but the soldiers of blue team the inkling that there was something that they weren't included on. Church, Tucker, and Caboose walked over to the tank to inspect it and make sure everything was in working order and normal. While they did that, Linux stayed behind by the robot, he wanted to talk to him. He let the robot glance at his team before refocusing on him prior to him talking to it. "¿Qué quieres un cruel monstruo azul?"

"What's your name robot?" The robot paused for a moment before speaking.

"Mi designación es 10p-3z o López para abreviar." Linux didn't know what that meant but it didn't necessarily stop him from saying what he planned on saying.

"Um... _Okay..._ I guess... Thanks, for fixing the tank, you did a good job." Linux nodded to the robot, he assumed it understood him. Perhaps it's prime directive wasn't combat but maintenance, so maybe it didn't understand him.

"Si, gracias. No importa, sin embargo, porque no tengo ahome- _E-gur-GUR-gurg!_ " The robot was fine for a minute, talking normal and even making gestures. The next minute it was making strange sounds and jerking around violently. The arms of the robot swung around quite a bit and Linux took an extra step back to ensure he wasn't hit. After a few seconds of odd and inhuman movements from the bot it became unnervingly still.

"Hey-bud-you okay?" Linux took a step forward and tapped the visor of its helmet. He even went as far as to grab it by the shoulder and jiggle it around. A strange sound echoed from the right of him and the now dormant robot. He looked to where the sound originated and found himself staring at the ghostly apparition of Church. He furrowed his brows before checking if he was actually seeing him, first by blinking and then by asking him something. "Church, what're you doing?" The ghostly figure jerked its head to him before answering.

"I... don't know. I was trying to posses him again but something kicked me out..." The ghost turned back to the robot that Linux still had his hand resting on. Linux followed his example and stared at the robot. A hand reached up and grabbed his wrist before twisting the arm and pushing Linux to one knee.

"Ah! The hell?!" He shouted from his position on the ground he felt another hand grab his chest piece, letting go of his arm, and hauled him to his feet before gently shoving him away. Linux swiveled back around to face the robot and saw it was standing with its hands on its hips and its feet wide apart. He swallowed a lump in his throat before reaching for his assault rifle only to find it missing. He focused back on the robot in front of him, mentally berating himself for losing track of his weapon again. "What's going on, is this the robot's doing?" He expected Church to answer but another voice, a different voice, answered instead.

"Buenos dias~ cock bites." That voice...

"Tex?!" Both Church and Linux said simultaneously, apparently neither of them noticed she said morning when it was clearly mid day in the box canyon Blood Gulch... Ah well, can blame them for being what they are... idiots...

"Hey!" Linux shouted to the sky, which drew attention from both of the soldiers standing next to him. He stared into the sky and received no response for his outburst. Though a certain freelancer asked a apparition what was with him. The apparition simply claimed they had no idea and to just ignore them...

Just another day in the canyon...


	12. II-XII

**NOTICE:** Hello readers, I apologize for how long this update took to be written and released. I know it took a lot longer than the previous ones but it was completely necessary. I feel much better and I now have the determination to continue writing the story. Thanks for staying loyal, coming back to read this after so long, and for reviewing my work. Now without further ado, the next installment of The Pursuit of Happiness...

* * *

 _ **The Pursuit of Happiness**_

 **Chapter 12  
**

" _Count Vlad Tepes Award for Excellence!_ "

Private Linux and the rest of blue team stood around the possessed robot that was being controlled by Tex. For those that don't remember, Tex was a freelancer that had been called to aid the members of blue team when Church died. Much like him, she died in a tank related way and was now back from the dead as a spirit. Her spirit was now possessing the body of a Spanish speaking robotic mechanic that had once the body of Church's spirit and, before that, was a member of red team. This was just another day in Blood Gulch...

"Tex, what are you doing in my body?" Church asked the freelancer with a tint of annoyance leaking into his voice.

"I stole it of course." She replied as she had done nothing out of the ordinary.

"I stole it first, give it back." Church added.

"Nope, not unless I can get another body."

"We don't have another body-"

"Well that's too bad for you, isn't it?" Tex mocked Church from beside the tank. Church looked to be fuming beneath his helmet, if spirits could even do so, but he didn't get the chance to say anything as another voice joined the conversation.

"Wait, I thought you name was Lopez and that you were a man." The tank, named Sheila, had said through its speakers. "This is all so confusing, I feel like my circuits are crossed..." The barrel of the cannon moved with each word the tank spoke which, given the tank's history with blue team, set most of the living members on edge. "... _and I like it._ " Linux took a few steps back from the tank to ensure he wouldn't be the first targeted. Meanwhile, his teammate Tucker had taken to saying an iconic phrase for any male-be it organic or inorganic. _Don't put your dick in crazy...  
_

"Look-Tex-is there some reason you've come back from the dead or not?" Church snapped, focusing the conversation back on the subject of importance before it steered to far into randomness. The soldier in blue turned her attention from the tank back to the deceased leader of blue team before answering.

"Actually yes, I don't know if you've noticed but one of your team members has been acting differently." Her gaze scanned the entirety of blue team, going across Church, Tucker, Linux, and then stopping on Caboose.

"You mean Caboose? I've been trying to tell Church but he never seems to care." Tucker commented on the blue rookie of the team.

"Hey, Tucker? There's a fine line between not caring and not listening... I like to think I walk that line everyday." Church quipped at the cyan soldier but before any of them could continue, Linux finally piped up.

"Yeah, Caboose has been talking in a more threatening manor but nothing has actually changed." He turned to the blue idiot on the team before he finished talking. "In fact, Caboose hasn't killed a single person since Church died, so I'd say he's actually doing better than before." Linux turned back to face Tex and a silence encompassed them for a moment.

Tex turned her gaze back to Church before grunting to him. The blue leader had no idea what it meant so he remained in place and silently stared at her. She made the grunting sound but added a head jerk motion that was directed toward Caboose. This time Church tilted his head as if he understood some of the message but not the entire thing. Tex let out a sigh, the blues really could be dumb sometimes, before repeating the motion but adding _another_ grunt to it. For some unknown reason, that seemed make enough sense for Church to finally understand what she was getting at. How adding an extra grunt to the motion made it more sensible was anyone's guess.

"Hey, uh, Caboose." The blue soldier turned towards him. "Why don't you go talk to Sheila-"

"-Okay!" Caboose shouted with a little too much glee. The blue Private jogged over to the tank before leaping onto it and blabbering to it. It was all very incomprehensible due to Caboose being excited. With the blue moron away from the rest of the team, Tex began to explain in more depth what she meant about Caboose and his odd behavior.

"Okay look, I don't know how much time we have before he gets bored of talking to the tank-"

"We got _a lot_ of time if that's your concern." Church quipped but stopped when the freelancer sent him a death glare, not that he could see it but her body language said it all.

"Church, you know how I was given an A.I.?" The powder blue soldier nodded. "Well, I don't remember much about the implantation process but something _I do_ remember was one of the scientists mention how the A.I. can jump from host to host via the radio."

"Let me guess, you want your precious A.I. back, am I right?" Church asked.

"No, you're gonna help me kill it." Tex corrected him.

"Say what?" All three blue soldiers said in unison.

"Yeah-you see, before I died I overheard Church's plan to warn the reds about me. The A.I. must have calculated the chances of survival and decided it didn't like the odds so it jumped ship... Then that pink bitch landed a lucky shot!" Tex growled the last part out.

"Hold up, if I remember correctly then that's about the same time Caboose started to call himself O'Malley. That wouldn't happen to be the A.I.'s doing would it?" Linux questioned.

"Actually yeah, that's the A.I.'s name, or at least that's its preferred name." Tex replied.

"Not to discredit you or undermine the seriousness of the situation but there is now an angry A.I. inside the head of a moron that can't operate the tank efficiently... I really don't see a reason to be as worried as you make it seem." Linux finished.

"Well _dumb ass,_ if you had studied anything about artificial intelligence then you should know they have memories and who was the previous host?" It took a moment for the wheels to start turning but eventually everyone was on the same page...

" _Aw crap..._ " Linux said.

* * *

"Okay, so let's rehash the plan one last time to make sure everyone knows it top to bottom." Church said to everyone, primarily directing his gaze to Tucker and Linux. "Tex and I are going to go inside of Caboose-"

"Bowchickabowow-ah!" Tucker cried out from Linux smacking him.

"Guys, this is serious. Me and Tex are going to possess Caboose and while the two of you take the tank to go get the reds to shut off their radios." Church waited for a few seconds to let what he said sink in before finishing. "Now is everyone ready?"

"Um, quick question." Tucker asked.

"Ugh, what?"

"How are we gonna get the reds to turn off their radios?"

"I don't know but you better do it fast."

"So we don't know what to do but whatever we _do do_ , we have to do it fast?"

"Yep, pretty much." Tex chimed in.

"I hate this mission already." Tucker retorted.

"Uh, not to be _that guy_ but we sure are wasting a whole lot of time just sitting here and talking. Time that could be spent fixing certain soldiers and destroying certain artificial monsters." Linux commented.

"Right." Church agreed before he turned to Tex. "Alright Tex, after you-"

"Yeah, no."

"What? Why?"

"You think I'm stupid enough to leave you out here with your own body?" Tex asked, fortunately she couldn't hear Church mutter the term _Bitch_ under his breath before conceding.

"Alright fine!" The powder blue leader walked past her and shouted to his blue teammate. "Hey Caboose!" The blue rookie turned to him without second thought. Church rushed towards him, leaping onto the tank before literally leaping into Caboose's body. After the blue soldier jerked and twitched unnaturally for a second or two he slowed until he was just standing still and breathing. Quickly after, the ghost of the freelancer followed and the same result came of it. With the two inside of Caboose and the blue rookie just standing there breathing, the only two left on the blue side of the canyon were Tucker, Linux, Sheila, and Lopez.

"So... I guess we better head on over to red base huh?" Linux asked as he looked to Tucker.

"Yeah, I guess we should." Tucker replied before walking away from the tank. Linux went to follow him when he stopped and turned back towards the tank and the newly returned Lopez. The robot was saying something that Linux couldn't understand for the life of him but from the way the tank was responding, it seemed like it was something "steamy." He just shook his head before calling out to them.

"Hey, love birds! Let's get a move on, we need to hurry if we're going to stop that A.I. from escaping." The robot muttered something in Spanish before climbing off the tank and following him and Tucker. The tank followed suite, which just left a possessed Caboose standing in the middle of the field in front of blue base.

The four of them made their way to the highest hill in the middle of the canyon, with Tucker and Linux leading and Sheila trailing in the back with Lopez. The Spanish robot never left the tank's side and the tank never caught up completely due to the messy terrain. Yes the majority of the area in Blood Gulch was either flat grass area or hill, there were some spots with tree trunks and rocks coming up out of the ground. If you combine that with slopes that could be too steep for the tank to drive up, then you'd understand the frustration the two were having keeping up with the two blue soldiers. They didn't catch up until Linux and Tucker decided to stop on the crest of the highest hill.

"I sure hope the reds don't freak out when we're approaching with this tank."

"Speaking of which, how exactly do we plan on getting them to turn off their radios?" It was then that the canyon's resident mechanic chose to speak up to the two.

"Creo que puedo tener una solución a eso." It said to them but once again, every seems to forget neither of these two blue soldiers know how understand Spanish. Instead they looked to the tank for guidance; after all, she seems to know what he says most of the time.

"Um, care to translate tank?" Linux said while facing the tank.

"Oh, of course. Lopez says:[I believe I may have a solution to that.]"

"Okay, so what does that mean robot?" Linux asked.

"Solo llévanos a la base y verás ..." Lopez said.

"He said:[Just get us to the base and you'll see...]" Linux raised an eyebrow at the tank's translations. He didn't know if they were translating properly but everything Lopez just said sounded as suspicious as a grown man in a trench coat near a play ground.

"Okay, we don't really have a better option right now and if we fuck up then a psycho A.I. is going to run rampant on everyone here... I'm gonna have to trust you guys aren't I?"

"Si."

"He said:[Yes.]"

"I didn't need a translation for that one." Linux commented before turning around and facing the base. "Let's just hope this all works out as planned..."

"¿Qué plan?"

"[What plan?]" Linux put his hand on the top of his head in a attempt to sooth the oncoming headache, only to realize he still had his helmet on.

"Why do I get the feeling this is going to be one of the longest missions ever? Of all time?" Linux turned to Tucker and tapped his shoulder to get his attention. When the cyan Private turned around, Linux told him to climb in the tank. "Yo, hop in the tank so that we can use that thing if push comes to shove." Now of course, Tucker being the man that he is was against such a suggestion.

"Dude, you do remember that I have no idea how to drive that thing right?" To which Linux counter with a dead pan face, not that Tucker could see it.

"Because I'm a better foot soldier than you and I trust you're more competent then Caboose."

"Dude, if you have so much confidence in me being able to control that thing-"

"Hey!"

"-then why don't you drive it?"

"What are you crazy? I'm not getting in that thing, I still remember to the last person that drove it to red base."

"So why on Earth should I get in it instead?"

"Because until your but buddy returns from probing Caboose's mind, I'm the most competent soldier on the battle field-"

"Discutible[Debatable]."

"-so I'm in charge, now get your ass in the tank so we can get the reds to shut off their radios." Tucker just stared at Linux and Linux him. The stare down continued for about a minute before Tucker finally threw in the towel.

"Fine-*sigh*-but for the record, I just wanna say you're becoming more of an ass like Church."

"Taken into consideration, now get in the tank."

"Fine..." Tucker walked over to Sheila and flipped open the canopy lid and climbed into it before pulling the cover down.

"Alright, let's get down to the base." Linux said while turning around. "Lopez, you're with me, let's move."

"Sigo la orden de ninguno de ustedes idiotas.[I follow the order of none of you idiots.]"

"You're lucky I don't understand you robot, now keep up."

"Bastardo azul.[Blue bastard.]"

The two lead the charge to the enemies base, which apparently still had the busted up warthog sitting out in front of it. The jogged up to it, initially planning to use the hunk of scrap for cover, until they saw a certain someone leaping up from behind the car. The continued to do so for three or so times before stopping. Linux stopped in front of the vehicle and pointed his magnum at one end of the warthog. He tightened his fist before extending his index and middle finger and signaling for Lopez to go around the other side. Unfortunately, the robot had stopped paying attention to him and was now looking at the pink soldier running away.

Linux was rounding the front of the warthog when he noticed something. He noticed the rather loud sound of a tank engine... and it was getting closer. Linux had just enough time to leap to the side before the tank rammed through the warthog and caused it to explode. He quickly scrambled to his feet and started looking around, trying to figure out what happened. Tucker and the tank were rammed against the wall, Lopez was on the ground, and there was what looked like a dead red soldier. Yeah, now that he though about it the soldier looked like the orange one they had humiliated earlier.

He grimaced at the thought of him dying that way after having to humiliate himself. He was the enemy but damn... that guy had the _worst_ luck of anyone in the canyon. Linux jogged over to Lopez and started checking the robot over for injuries. He was pretty sure Tucker and the tank were fine and when you considered the fact that only Lopez knew his plan to get the reds to turn off their radios, he was kind of important to them. He managed to drag the robot to its feet before checking it for injuries.

"You okay tin man?" Linux asked while dusting the bot off.

"Sí, estoy bien saco de carne. Ahora deja de quitarme el polvo como una madre.[Yes, I am okay meat sack. Now stop dusting me off like a mother.]" The robot walked away before Linux could finish and approached the tank and Tucker. Linux followed suit and when he arrived at the cockpit he took note of how tight Tucker's hands were clenched around the steering wheel.

"Tucker, out- _now._ " He demanded of the Private.

"Yeah... okay..." The canopy opened up and Tucker climbed out and dropped to the ground with a thud, his legs being like Jello from the crash.

"Hey, do think you can back up a bit?" Linux asked the tank.

"Not a problem." The tank quickly revved its engine before reversing for about twenty feet before stopping.

"Okay, time to try plan one... Tucker, climb on top of Sheila, Lopez get inside of Sheila and do your business-"

"What?"

"Me estoy poniendo muy sudoroso![I'm getting very sweaty!]"

"-you should be able to hack into the reds radio frequency from here." The robot nodded before running over to the cockpit and climbing inside. There was a moment of silence before button clicking could be heard and then the iconic sound of the radio buzz echoed through everyone's comms. Linux turned to Tucker, who had managed to get on top of the tank and compose himself, and gave him the thumbs up.

"Red guys? Can you hear me?" The sound of an older male could be heard on the radio following Tucker's broadcast. If Linux's memory was right, it was the Sargent's.

" _What in buttery goodness? Who is this?_ "

"It's me Tucker, I'm one of the blue guys. Look I don't have time to explain but I need all of you guys to shut off your radios right now-"

" _Boy... It'll be a cold day in Hell before I take orders from **you.**_ "

"Look it's really important alright? Normally I would just shoot at you and steal your girl friends but today it's different!" Tucker pleaded. "I need you to trust me on this."

" _Well I may have spoke to soon. That is a interesting and well thought out-not to mention clever and timely I might add-proposition. Simmons, would you care to delivery our rebuttal?_ " The radio was filled with the sound of someone clearing their throat before another voice came through.

" _Suck it blue!_ " Followed by another one.

" _Yeah suck it blue! Now that's what I call and old school zinger. In your face blue, **in your face!**_ " With the replies that he received-and everyone heard-Tucker sighed. It was then that Linux took a crack at it.

"Yo, reds. While I don't blame you for how you reacted, I would've said much worse in I was you in this scenario, he's telling the truth this time. We actually do need your cooperation this time." There was a moment of silence across the radio. It almost made Linux think they had actually shut off their radios, until he heard their voices ring out again.

" _Aren't you that guy I ran over?_ "

"Yeah, hi there-"

" _How'd mah' bumper taste bluetard?_ " Linux stood there, finger off the radio button ready to say something mean or nasty in return... but then his eye started to twitch and a demented idea came into his mind. He pressed his finger back on the radio button, opening him up and the comms.

"Hey Lopez, _you're up..._ " He turned around and walked behind the tank before pulling off his helmet. He reached into one of his pockets and pulled out some ear plugs before putting two in. By this time Tucker had already joined him behind the tank and Lopez had made his way on top of it. Linux handed the cyan soldier a pair of ear plugs.

"Why are you giving me these?"

"You're gonna need them." Furrowing his brow in confusion, Tucker took his helmet off and quickly put them in before putting his helmet back on. Linux followed suite and with in moments, Tucker knew why Linux had given him the head phones...

Lopez the Heavy  
" _Mi Amor Tiene un Canon Grande_ "  
Señor el roboto the club remix '08  
Metal2Metal Records  
Directed by: Private Tucker

 _Oh boy..._

* * *

 **NOTICE:  
**

Wait! Before you click off of this page, I need some feed back from you! In this chapter of _The Pursuit of Happiness_ I translated most of Lopez's lines to English by using Sheila but I also just added English captions for when I chose not to have Sheila translate. Which do you prefer? The captions so we always know what Lopez is saying? Or would you prefer a translator have to be present to understand? Thanks for you time.


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